FAMILY LETTER 10.02.16

Dear Loved Ones, 

                                                    

This is literally the first moment I have had to BREATHE since school began! I am so glad to have the chance to sit down and record this marathon month! Rich and I were actually talking about how we have been RUNNING at a break-neck pace since his birthday (June 18^th)—like a three-1/2 month marathon from his birthday to mine! But it was all mostly for good things and we have grown TONS from our experiences, so here’s to wearing out your life doing good things!

When I last wrote, the big kids had started school, but Niles didn’t start until the next day. He was so excited and we took the most adorable picture of his first day. He gets worn out each day from all-day kindergarten, but he doesn’t realize it—he just gets a little tantrum-ish, so I trick him into taking a nap a couple of times a week and he is surviving. The weekend after kindergarten began was Labor Day and we headed to Boise on 9/2 for Aunt Angie’s wedding and to celebrate Grandpa and Grandma Melin’s 50^th anniversary (9/1/1966).

It was a beautiful weekend in Boise, so much fun with all the Melins (except Elena and kids, sadly) and cousin Cynthia Berry and her baby Emily. When we arrived, we checked in to our hotel, then met up with everybody for dinner at the Pizza Pie Café. Then we headed downtown to watch the hot air balloons light up at the Spirit of Boise festival. The next morning, all the fellas had a bit of a bachelor party at the Warhawk Museum. Grandpa Melin got to show his grandsons the helicopter he flew in Vietnam and where he flew it. Aunt Kelli and Grandma took the girls and little kids to the Discovery Center while Adeline and I ran to the mall to replace out-grown clothes for the boys for the wedding. Kelli, Gram, and I took the kids to get lunch at Whole Foods, then home to get ready for the wedding festivities. We headed to the wedding venue at 2:30ish and hung out for pictures for an hour or so. The ceremony began at 4 and it was just lovely. You could tell Angie had five years to think of every detail—it was just perfect! We ate good food, played with cousins, danced, visited, took lots of photos, and headed home around 7:30pm with a bunch of tired kids. Sunday we went to church and then had a fun anniversary party lunch at Angie’s house before she and Jex headed off to Kauai the next morning. The Melin kids had anniversary Tshirts made, as well as collecting photos and letters for a sweet memory book. Mom and Dad were delighted, and we loved that special time together as a family. We left the Hunsakers to pack and the rest of us had one last hurrah dinner at Cracker Barrel, then headed home on Monday. Monday was James’ 10^th birthday and the poor kid spent it in the car. We tried to make it special, though, and I think he had a pretty awesome weekend with his cousins.

Speaking of James, he had planned to play trumpet in band this year, but they moved him to trombone. He started band on 9/7 and seems to be loving his trombone. The next Saturday, 9/10, Rich and the girls went on a youth trip to The Reef in Billings to celebrate the youth reaching their indexing goals in August. The boys and I cleaned the church for 4 hours. Daddy barely made it home in time for me to leave for Stake Conference and Rich to stay home and host house guests from Prague. Stake Conference was awesome, and we had a nice visit with our Zuzana and her new husband, Mira (Zuzi lived with us in 2007).

A cold front blew in on 9/11 and I spent the first cold fall-ish day at MSU interviewing the brilliant and entertaining Dr. Gary Strobel for Park and Life magazine. I could have listened to him for days. I can’t wait to take James to meet him—I think they are cut from the same cloth. On 9/15, we squeezed in a little after school birthday party for James. He and 8 friends had banana splits and played Legos and jumped on the trampoline for 2 hours. He deserved a better party, but he was satisfied, especially with his gift from us—the Origami Yoda boxed set of books.

On 9/17, our ward had a really cool activity: a Family Temple Day in Billings. The youth left at 4:30am to do baptisms (but we went to Billings the night before, so Rich just took our girls to the temple at 7am), then the ward met up for breakfast and family pictures in front of the temple from 9:30-10:30. Dad Melin came out and spoke to the Primary Children about the temple, and then we took the youth and the children to a church building to hang out while the adults attended the 11:30 endowment session. We picked up the kids and went to lunch at HuHot afterward. It was a really great day. The next day was ward conference and the choir did a lovely job singing all 5 verses of “Nearer, My God to Thee.” We had great messages from our stake leaders.

After church, Grandma Melin came over around 4pm to stay with the kids while Richard and I went to Great Falls for an insurance conference. I spent Monday writing while Rich went to meetings, then we went out to Borries for delicious steak dinners. We rested well and did the same things til noon on Tuesday, then headed home. We brought pizza home for dinner and enjoyed an evening with the kids before our house filled up with guests the next day. My mom and Mark and kids arrived Wednesday night to prepare for my brother Matthew’s wedding on 9/24.  On Thursday afternoon, Aunt Marti, Uncle Ralph, and Grandma Lyn Arrived from AZ. Later, Jill’s family arrived and stayed at a hotel, and Sam’s family arrived while we were sleeping and stayed in Ammon’s room.

Friday 9/23 we hung out and visited with family and got the church gym decorated for Matt’s reception. Matt and Ashley invited his siblings and spouses and the wedding party out to dinner Friday night while Mom and Aunt Marti babysat 7 grandkids.  It was so incredibly nice to be with some of my brothers and sisters, especially to have a night out with Jill and Drew just like old times (we were so busy thinking about wedding stuff, I failed to recognize in the moment what a miracle and a blessing it was to be together again when we had so nearly lost Jill; I had wished and prayed for such a moment many times…hallelujah!).

Saturday 9/24 was my 45^th birthday, and Aunt Marti’s 62^nd, and Abby’s 17^th, and Matt’s wedding day!  I woke up early and put some people to work, then went with Adeline to Target to get some things she needed. We came home and family had begun to arrive for the blessing of our great-niece, Lily (my sister Laura’s granddaughter, nephew Gabriel’s daughter). Aunt Marti and Uncle Ralph provided and nice lunch of sandwiches and chips after the blessing, and then everyone started helping with the wedding preparations. After lots of confusion and worry, the ceremony was held at the ranch at 5pm. It had rained all weekend, but the sun came out for the ceremony. Matthew’s bishop from Helena came to perform a beautiful wedding with lots of great counsel for the couple and their blended family. After some celebrating, we loaded up the chairs and decorations and headed up to the reception at the church gym. It was decorated beautifully and Ashley's family made dinner and everything so nice. But the very best part was the dancing. It was such a blast to see my nieces and nephews—babies to young adults—dancing and lip synching and having a ball. I think the best moment was when “I Wanna Dance with Somebody” came on and there was multi-generational busting of moves. I really think what the world needs now is multi-generational dancing. It’s the key to world peace. My second favorite moment was the highly dramatic lip-synch performance of Bohemian Rhapsody by my daughters, their cousins, and my sisters. It was not to be forgotten. I hope the bride and groom had as much fun as we did!

Sunday 9/25 was the most perfect Sabbath day I have had in a long time. Sacrament meeting was great. Our high council speaker was excellent. Mayberrys, Gram, Uncle Matt Elrey, Mark and Marshall, Sam and Kristen and family all came to church. Laytons and Uncle Matt had to leave afterward, but Aunt Marti went to RS with me. We came home and had sandwiches and naps, then made a yummy lasagna dinner for our remaining guests—Mayberrys, Gram, and Drews.  At 6:30 pm, my friend Tammy and her daughter Amanda came over to watch the Women’s Broadcast with us (it had originally aired during the wedding). My mom wasn’t well, so she didn’t get up on Sunday, but Gram, Marti, my girls, Abby, me, Tammy, Amanda, and Sisters Eifert and Styer watched the broadcast together. Tammy recently lost her husband and I kept feeling prompted to invite her, that something might bring her comfort. Sister Reeves’ talk was made for her, I think, though we all loved every message! Upstairs the men folk got out some ice cream as a treat for us and we had a perfect ending to a perfect day.

Monday morning 9/25, my mom was a little better. She and her family left around 9 or so. Uncle Ralph had left at 4am to get back to work in AZ. So it was just Gram, Marti, me, and Ammon that day. We cleaned up and had a nice Family Night about For the Strength of the Youth Standards, this week was Language. I could tell the girls were feeling the Spirit by all the good ideas they were getting and how enthusiastic and motivated they became. I love when that happens.

On Tuesday 9/26, I needed to go to the post office and mail forgotten shoes to Helena, so we decided to make an adventure of it and Gram and Marti came. We did errands in town, then took a drive out to Clyde Park and took in all the colors of the Shields river valley. Aunt Marti was so excited because she had recently read some books set in the valley along the Crazy Mountains. After our drive, we had lunch at Fiesta en Jalisco and came home for naps. We had the sister missionaries to dinner that night and they shared a good message with us. Around dinner time Gram had noticed her leg swelling up. She had a hot spot on her calf. We kept debating about taking her to Urgent Care. I had to go to Emigrant to pick up Heidi, but Marti said they probably wouldn’t need to get help, so I left. About 20 minutes later, Rich called me from the emergency room. Uncle Ralph had said Grandma needed to go. So I brought Heidi home and switched places with Rich at the hospital. They tested Gram’s electrolytes and they were crazy low, so they admitted her. She couldn’t get her leg checked until the next day anyway. Marti and I got home around midnight and didn’t sleep until 2am.

We went Wednesday morning to check on Gram. I gave the Lexus to Marti to drive so she could do what Gram needed and I could take care of my family with the van. We figured she had a clot and wouldn’t be allowed to fly home, so I planned out conference weekend menu and went shopping, made dinner, and took naps with Ammon. Gram finally got her ultra sound at 4:40pm and there were no clots, so they cleared her to fly home. I was glad she was okay, but sad she wouldn’t be staying an extra week. Thursday we packed up and went to lunch and I dropped them off at the Bozeman airport for a long flight home. I had to turn around and run home to pick up Niles from school, then take all the kids to the Home coming parade between 4-5pm. It was a pretty cute parade—it gets better every year, especially now that we have a marching band. The first year I was here it was, like, a truck with a boom box and 3 four-wheelers with air horns and banners. Way to step it up, Rangers. It was a fun parade, but they lost their game. Bummer.

Friday there was no school, so we did chores and made food for conference weekend, and I took James to the dentist. It was nice to be “back to normal” with the kids, and conference was just what we needed to get our bearings after such a busy month.  I was committed to relaxing, and we totally did. The spirit was wonderful and I am so grateful for the messages given. I felt the theme of the conference was “Be of Good Cheer.”  There is so much wrong and evil in the world today, and it gets all the attention. But there is so much good we aren’t shown, so many “compensatory blessings” for living in the last days, I am glad to be a part of it all and to live in a time of restoration and living prophets. Every little thing’s gonna be alright!

Happy Birthday to Cousin Matthew Melin in the morning! Your card goes in the mail tomorrow, buddy. Happy Double Digits! Also, Happy Birthday to Uncle Sam Layton on Wednesday! We’re so glad you guys were born. Even though it was exhausting, we are glad to have seen almost all of our siblings and extended family this past month—what a whirlwind of fun! We miss you and pray for you all and hope you feel how loved you are!!!

Love, Jamie and Rich and Family

Niles 8/29

Heading to Boise 9/2

Fascinated by the hotel fish pond 9/2

swimming with Uncle Mark 9/2

Spirit of Boise Fest 9/2

Our gang watching the balloons

All the fellas at the Warhawk Museum 9/3

Cousins Danny and TJay, Grandpa and James with Grandpa's helicopter

Learning about Vietnam

Jamie and James at Angie's Wedding 9/3

SEESTERS! 9/3

Silly Family 9/3

Cousin Pals Simon and Niles 9/3

The Hunsaker Family

The Melin Kids

The Melin Family

Selfies on Baby Sister's Wedding Day!

AUNT JUDY!

Catching the bride AND the bouquet.

More Cousin Pals havin' some root beer, waiting for a GREAT burger

HAPPY 50TH ANNIVERSARY!

Back in 1966...

Reading the Anniversary Memory book with mom and dad at Angie's house 9/4

We all went to look at the Meridian Temple 9/4

We stopped in Twin Falls on the way home 9/5

That's one deep canyon!

Friday night lights are back...go, Rangers!

Dinner at Gil's Goods with Mira and Zuzu from Prague, 9/10

Best friends, Clara and Addie 9/10

9/11, early morning good byes with Mira and Zuzu

The Donald wishes Mira and Zuzu and wonderful trip!

Dr. Strobel's books

Dr, Strobel posing for Robyn  9/12

James and his birthday banana split, 9/15

Legos and Ice Cream with friends and sibs--awesome! 9/15

Billings Temple flowers, 9/17

Temple friends- Clara and Addie 9/17

Temple friends, Heidi and Jeanette 9/17

Ammon and Heidi at the temple 9/17

Grandpa Melin teaching the Primary kids about the temple 9/17

Cousins hanging out at Chadz 9/23

My silly brothers 9/23

Jamie and Jill 9/23

4 (out of 19) of my sibs and spouses enjoying dinner 9/23
I loved this night.
(It looks like Ben is sitting in for Kristen as Sam's date ;))

Beautiful Baby Lilith was blessed 9/24

This picture only shows 22 of the 39 people in my house on 9/24

Emily, Owen, and Gavin at the wedding 9/24

Biggest cousins holding littlest cousins:
Ally with Seeley Drews and Addie with Mairi Layton

Boy cousins "helping" load chairs

Triumphant bride and groom!

Addie and Ally 9/24

Putting on lipstick and attacking everyone with kisses
Addie, Isabelle, Liam and Ally

Addie, Isabelle, and Liam
(and Mairi's arm)

Elreys with Matt and Ashley 9/24
only missing Uncle Sam!

Cutest first dance ever 9/24

Me and my Gram, 9/29

Kindergarten Homecoming Float 9/29

Niles and a friend after the parade 9/29

The end of Main Street after the parade

Learning to ride bikes between conference sessions 10/1

Niles just took off on Rich's old bike! 10/1

Taking a cruise after conference on Sunday 10/2
The boys wanted to show me a dead snake they found ;)

The family that rides together stays together, right? 10/2

FAMILY LETTER 08.28.16

Dear Loved Ones, 

This has been an exciting week, starting school and seminary, fall cleaning, backpacking...we are exhausted but so happy. Our week began with a busy Monday. I enlisted the troops in a group project deep cleaning the great room and they did a great job. Then we enjoyed Family Night in a fresh, clean living room after a nice BBQ dinner provided by Grandpa and Grandma Melin. We talked about our theme for this year, “By Small and Simple Things are Great Things Brought to Pass.”  This includes the 7 Simple Things prescribed by our stake (Personal Scripture Study, Family Scripture Study, Personal Prayer, Family Prayer, FHE weekly, Church Weekly, Temple Monthly), but also small daily choices to be kind and honest. We read a story in the New Era about the power of words, and then Grandpa and Grandma shared stories from the temple where they are serving as counselor and assistant matron. Grandma shared a story about a brother in our ward who came in to do work for family names he had prepared. He wanted to seal his parents to each other, but had forgotten the paper work. Grandma helped him prepare the papers and asked if he would like to be sealed to his parents as well. He got emotional and said, “yes.” Grandma got to serve as proxy for his mother as his parents were sealed to their parents and he was sealed to them. Then grandpa added what I consider to be the moral of the story: while they were serving their last mission in Missouri, Grandma made a goal to write a weekly letter to this man—he was inactive in church at the time and had been for years. When they got home, they invited him to an activity and he started attending church again. Last Saturday, three generations of his family were sealed together. What a wonderful example of doing a small and simple thing and having a great, miraculous result! After the lesson, Daddy and Grandpa gave the children back to school father’s blessings. It was a lovely night and a great start to the school year.

Tuesday we had dental appointments for all the kids, except Addie. She stayed and worked at the office with Rich. That night after dinner, we took the kids downtown to get gelato at Gil’s Goods. We stopped to visit the Joneses to visit and picked up a copy of Park +Life magazine, fresh off the press. I am so excited to be involved (writing/editing) for this cool Jones brainchild.  I’m hoping and praying the project takes off. It’s a great concept and a quality production.

Wednesday was the first day of school for James and freshman orientation for Adeline. James seems to be loving his fifth grade class with Mrs. Pavlovich (formerly Ms. Gillespie, who taught both Adeline and Heidi in 5^th grade). Addie’s schedule is a little bit crazy, with seminary and zero hour choir from 6:15-8, then homeschool, then 3 classes at the high school, but it will be good for her. Thursday, Heidi started 7^th grade without a lot of fanfare, just the way she likes it. Niles had his kindergarten assessments and was assigned to Mrs. Livermore’s class. On Friday we went to his Open House and explored his class room and play ground. He is in for a super fun year, I think.

Thursday night we watched part of the National Park Service Centennial held in Gardiner. It was pretty exciting times around here since Yellowstone is such a huge part of our culture and economy. Friday night, Rich took the 4 big kids on a backpacking trip with Uncle Mike. They camped at Arch Falls in Hyalite, south of Bozeman. It is so beautiful up there (there is a spread about it in Park + Life this month ;)) and they had a good time. On the way home, they stopped for burgers and games at Fuddruckers. Meanwhile, Ammon and I stayed home and deep cleaned the kitchen. I cleaned the cupboards while Ammon washed the same 5 dishes and himself for an hour or two. He also “mopped” and wiped down the cupboard doors. It was pretty fun. We also finished all the laundry and took a rest (but not a nap) and he was so happy when the kids and Daddy got home.

So tomorrow is Niles’ first day of kindergarten, and next weekend we will be in Boise for Angie’s wedding. James’ birthday is on Labor Day this year, so we are trying to find a way to make it special in the car ;) Holy moly, it’s already September. 126 days left in 2016! We’ll do our best to make them great. Love to all of you, hope you have a good week!

Love, Rich and Jamie and Family

Clean, bright great room on 8/22, ready for FHE!

Family Theme, 2016-17

Ammon showing off his pedaling skillz 8/22

James and Grandma 8/22

Back to School Gelato 8/23

Hot off the press, Park and Life Magazine, Issue #1,  8/23

Park and Life Writing Cred

First Day 8/24

Addie's first early morning seminary class at 6:15am 8/25

First Day, 8/25

Backpacking Selfies! 8/26

Crazy eyes hitting the trail
Heidi and Uncle Mike Melin 8/26

Happy Campers eating breakfast 8/26

Niles and Uncle Mike, 8/27

Heidi, not amused. 8/27

Awesome Family Memories 8/27

Cute sisters, 8/27

FAMILY LETTER 08.21.16

Dear Loved Ones,              

After a nice long nine-month break, I’m finally resuming our weekly family letter. I can’t put my finger on why I stopped last year. At first it was just a holiday break, but I just felt overwhelmed and didn’t start up again. I did go through a pretty deep depressive episode starting in November, so maybe that contributed. Whatever the reason, it has passed and I want to get back on the horse and record all the things our family is doing.

This week is back-to-school at our house. It has been a full time job the past two weeks getting the kids organized, registered, signed up, applied-for, etc. I still have to organize the mudroom and dresser drawers—these kids have grown like crazy since spring! It’s as if sunlight and water have the same effect on kids as they do on a garden. At any rate, they are going to have to wear clothes that fit and socks and shoes now,  so that’s our project for the next few days.

We had a meeting last Sunday getting Adeline all ready for early morning seminary, which starts Thursday at 6:20am. We had planned to home school 100%  this year, but she has decided, at least for this semester, to do part time at Park High School (German and Choir classes) and part time at home with Montana Digital Academy. This might still be too much public school, but we are going to give it a try. Heidi is more at ease this year starting 7^th grade, having got the hang of middle school last year. James is King of the Hill, starting his final year of elementary school—5^th grade! He has the same teacher Addie and Heidi had and I think this will be GREAT for him. Cute little Niles starts kindergarten next Monday and he is pretty excited. He’s mostly looking forward to the awesome playground, but hopefully he will find other things he loves there.  So it’s just Ammon and me again at home this year. It will be fun finding things to do together. I am so much less fun at 45 than I was at 30-something with the older kids, poor Ammon.

The girls had a super awesome Young Women’s Retreat this weekend. Each day of this past week they had an envelope to open with a thought and a treat preparing them for their “Love Your Selfie” activity Friday Night. They went to camp out in Clyde Park at 3:30pm on Friday and came home all a-flutter at noon on Saturday. They’d had a fun dinner, a speaker, and watched “Once I Was A Beehive” projected on a barn wall. There was a lot of sleep-walking and singing and laughter and spirituality happening. I am so grateful for their good leaders and friends. I know so much work must have gone into this activity and I love them for doing it!

Richard led a 50-mile bike ride on Saturday with his scouts to help them complete their Biking merit badges. They drove down to Gardiner, at the north gate of Yellowstone at 8:30 am and rode back to Livingston starting around 9:30am. Most of the boys finished around 2pm. Rich and the other YM counselor rounded up the stragglers and made it home by 4:30. Poor Rich took a shower then we drove back down to Gardiner to pick up our van. We made a date of it and had dinner at Rosie’s Bistro, watching the sun set over the north entrance to Yellowstone. It was a beautiful night. We talked to several people affected by the river closure (there has been a massive fish kill due to a parasite in the river so it is closed to all recreation—the lifeblood of our community). We pray the problem will clear up and the waters and fish will be clean and healthy again soon.

So many great things happened this summer, I hope to blog about them more in the coming weeks. One major thing was that our kids participated in the Young Actor’s Workshop at the Shane Center and performed in “Shrek: The Musical” on August 12-13. It was a delightful, creative production and they had a great time in the workshop. Another thing is I spent 2/3 of July saying good bye to my best friend, Erin Lyman Casper, who passed away from metastatic breast cancer (liver failure) on July 19^th.  “Big” Heidi and I were able to be with her from July 12-July 17^th at her home in MN. We were also blessed to attend her memorial and interment in Utah on July 30^th. We spent the preceeding days loving and laughing and crying with her kids. It was a heart-wrenching, soul-strengthening time that changed me forever. I miss her terribly, but I am eternally grateful for her  friendship and that her love lives on in her sweet family. We have grown as close as family through this experience and I am so grateful to have the Caspers in my life!

We loved reuniting with all the Melin siblings the first week of July. Rich’s brother Mark and his family drove out from New Jersey and spent the first week of July with us and it was just the sweetest to be with them again. We are getting ready to be together again for Angie’s wedding and my in-law’s 50^th anniversary over Labor Day weekend in Boise Idaho. We also got together with my Utah siblings briefly the night before Erin’s funeral in Lehi. I was so grateful to Jill and Drew for hosting us and feeling buoyed up by the love of family. We also had a mini- Layton reunion the first weekend in August with my two sisters, Erin and Rhonda and their families, as well as Dad Layton and Becky for one night. It rained every night we camped out at the ranch, but the days were beautiful and we had a perfect float on the river with almost everyone. If our experiences this summer taught us anything, it’s that family—God’s family and our own earthly family— is everything. And that building an eternal family is worth every sacrifice—lack of sleep, long drives, fasting, fervent prayer, temple attendance--- it is indeed our life’s work and nothing else really matters. Like, at all.  Our greatest joys and sorrows come from loving deeply and serving relentlessly in the family. What a privilege and blessing to have this knowledge and make the necessary covenants!!!

Well, it’s about time for me to settle my wild little boys down—gotta get back on the school schedule! Rich is in Bozeman at Standards Night with our girls, bless his heart. Life is good and we love and miss you all. We are so happy for Michael and Amber Drews welcoming their third baby, our sweet nephew, Seeley, and for our great-niece Lilith born to nephew Gabriel and Keegan in July (now both my twin sisters and GRANDMAS!). Happy Birthday to  Aunt Audrey, Papa Mark, Cousin Simon, and Cousin Brady this week!

Love,

Jamie, Rich, and Family

Jamie and Erin, Valentines 2000, Provo

Jamie and Erin, July 16, 2016 at Casper's home

Heid and Jamie at Erin's Grave, July 30, 2016

Our friends Mark Jarvis, Aaron Harris, and Ryan Hansen came to Erin's memorial service. All three of these men served in the California Sacramento mission; Harris and Hansen were the Elders who taught and baptized Erin, They also lived in our BYU  66th ward in 1994-1995 and we all became great friends. It was so sweet to see them there!

Elder Brandon Casper was weeping after the slideshow about his mom.
He sobbed in my ear, "I just miss her so much. She's my best friend!" Heartbreaking.

Erin's beautiful children: Brittany. Eliza, Tarah, Brandon

Erin's amazing husband, Rhett, saying goodbye at her grave on July 30, 2016

Adeline, Tarah, Brittany, Me, Heidi, Eliza, and Heidi Lynn, after all the services July 30th:
 "I didn't have many girl friends growing up and I didn't witness many strong, sisterly friendships, either. But making temple covenants, serving a mission, and building quality relationships changed all that. This circle of sisterhood is my air, and often, my salvation. My best friends, their daughters, and my daughters♡"

Heidi, James, and Addie after Shrek the Musical August 13th

James as Lord Farquad's guard

After opening night, August 12th

Heidi and Addie as dragons, singing their hearts out, final performance

James at curtain call

Check out Heidi, right in the middle

Rich and his scouts heading out on the 50-mile bike ride on August 20th

One Third of a Miracle

I have a RIDICULOUS amount of life to blog. The past 8 months have been truly BRUTIFUL, though I have been paralyzed by a deeply subconscious sense of doom and depression since December, which rendered me not only unable to blog, but unable to even think or reflect on life at all, unable to find joy, just surviving.

But there is something to be said about surviving, right? Enduring. It's a commandment. And I survived long enough to come back to myself and feel joy--which is another commandment, a reason for living.

So, coincidentally or not, this deep funk coincided with the news that my bff Erin Capser was diagnosed with metastatic--terminal--breast cancer, which had aggressively spread into her liver, bones, and lymph system. This did not make for the happiest of holiday seasons, and added to the dread I always feel in January and February. Blessedly, Erin's first treatments helped her tremendously and she didn't get terribly ill (except chemo days). So Heidi Egan and I were able to spend time with her in January and it was pretty much like old times except for the naps and the wigs. Erin even brought her wonderful family to spend Easter with our family this year, and she was doing pretty well. We had a glorious, happy holiday (I will blog all of this with photos later, of course!).

But everything after May was bad news. Treatments didn't work. Cancer spread and killed her liver. Miraculously, she gathered the strength to take a cruise with her family the first week of July. They had a beautiful trip. She was sick the day after they came home (7/10), released from chemo and put on hospice care the next day (7/11), felt better the next day when Heidi and I arrived to help (7/12), and then semi-conscious, medicated, sleepy, child-like, pain-free for a week as her body shut down. She crossed the veil in peace, at her home with her husband, children, father, and brother two days after I went home (7/19). It has been the most bittersweet, spiritual experience of my life aside from creating my own family.

I will continue to record my memories, feelings, testimony, and lessons I have learned, but today I just wanted to share the remarks I prepared for her memorial, held Saturday, July 30th in Lehi, Utah.

The Miracle of The Young Ones

I am one-third of a great miracle.

In August 1994, I had been home from my mission for three months. I returned to Provo determined to  keep up the habits and spirit of mission life. My dear friend Heidi was looking for a roommate and a change of atmosphere, so I moved in with her at Rupper #5. Heidi and I shared one room, and the other room was occupied by an LDS Business College student from Spain, Piedad Fernandez.  We wondered who would share the room with Piedad.

Enter Erin Lyman. One afternoon, we came home to find a black-haired, Doc-Marten-clad Goth girl hanging a Depeche Mode poster over the bed in the other bedroom. Heidi and I exchanged looks that said, “Uh-oh!” Was the New Girl gonna be on board with our plans for a new, more Christ-centered home? It looked like a “Maybe not.”

All our worries disappeared within only a few minutes when Erin began to tell us about herself. We learned that she had been baptized 10 months earlier in California. As she told her conversion story, something in my heart just burst. I believe in karma, and I believe in “do unto others”, so I thought to myself, I am going to treat this sweet girl the way I hope and pray someone treats the new members I left behind in North Carolina. I would try to be the best example I could be, invite the Spirit into our home, discuss scriptures and gospel questions, and most importantly, try to know and love her the way Jesus does.

Over the school year, Heidi, Erin, and I shared more than our fair share of laughs, sacred experiences, freaky dates, and spiritual growth. We didn’t know it then, but that year bound us together with a sacred tie. We prepared each other—or rather The Lord prepared us, together—for all the next big steps we would take in life. It was the spring board of Rupper Five that launched us into the relationships and educational paths that gave us the blessed and beautiful lives and families we have enjoyed the past 20 years.

I could go on and on about the ways Erin has had my back over the years, and maybe someday I will write it all down. We have had the most low-maintenance friendship—we never asked anything of each other. And yet when life threw me curve balls or hard questions, Erin would always emerge as my support, my voice of reason, my courage, and my cheerleader.  And always with sass that made me laugh. But when cancer came, our laughter subsided a bit, and our feelings of sisterhood emerged. Our eternal bond became obvious.

So now I stand here, one third of a miraculous sisterhood. One third is gone for now. Heidi and I will try to follow in Erin’s faithful footsteps.  I stand as one third and I stand all amazed.

Amazed that God saw fit to entrust his precious re-born daughter to me for a school year.

Amazed at the marvelous work and mighty change the Atonement of Jesus Christ wrought in the life of Erin Cathleen.

Amazed at how Erin harnessed the power of the light that came into her life and poured it over her four brilliant, valiant, courageous children and husband.

Amazed at the perfectly faithful and focused way she completed her mission on earth.

I stand all amazed and grateful for the opportunity to follow in her footsteps ‘til we meet at Jesus’ feet.

Year in Review

We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy 2016!

Click HERE for a look back at 2015.