To add something personal to our ward's annual history, we added spiritual experiences submitted by members. Here are the stories I submitted (in addition to the Kid History New Year's entry, and the previously posted "Prove Me Now Herewith" story about Ammon's birth).
Sisterly Love
Over the past few years the sibling
rivalry between our only two daughters escalated to deep
and spiteful mistreatment. They were competitive with each other, jealous,
mean—fighting like cats and dogs! Heidi
tried to push everyone’s buttons, and Adeline would go out of her way to make
Heidi feel rejected. Anytime Heidi wanted to be with her or to be like her,
Addie would refuse—she would change if they dressed the same, she’d cancel her
plans if I said she had to include Heidi. It was getting ridiculous. All my
Marmie-like transcendentalist dreams of raising powerful, loving, sisterly
daughters were blowing away like so much Livingston winter snow.
Before our family trip to Nauvoo in June, part of my Fast Sunday prayer was
that our girls might bond with one another on the trip and stop being so
hateful to each other. They would be
confined to the back seat of the minivan for several thousand miles . They’d
have to learn how to get along or else kill each other.
Heavenly Father answered my Mother’s prayer. Sure enough, they found some
common ground this summer and are wonderful friends now. Granted, the bonding
was over Dr. Who and Sherlock, but I'll take it like it comes. I know Heavenly
Father has the power to soften hearts and change attitudes, especially when we
harness the power of fasting and prayer.
A Musical Miracle
As the Ward
Music Chairperson and Choir Director, one of my responsibilities is to choose
music and prepare the choir for special Christmas programs, in the ward and in
the stake. Every year this is a scary prospect because so few people come to
choir practice regularly. The past two years, the stake has held a special
Christmas Concert and Nativity night, which adds even more pressure.
For
Christmas 2013, we had scant choir practice attendance up until the last few
practices. We ended up being one of the largest choirs in the stake and
performing “Still, Still, Still” was such a powerful spiritual experience. I
was so grateful to be involved and grateful for the singers who stepped up to
help at the last minute. This experience increased my faith and I knew I
shouldn’t get too anxious about choir attendance because everything would be
okay in the end.
So for
Christmas 2014 we chose our music and began to practice in October. Our numbers
were few; the most men we ever had attend was five. Some practices consisted of
a total of five singers, counting myself! I kept hoping for another Christmas
miracle, but when only one man showed up at an emergency practice held the day
before the Stake concert, I knew it wasn’t going to be like the previous year.
I had already cut the choir down to one song, and now I was going to have to
cut out the men’s parts all together. As
we practiced, Sister Mills said, “Hey, wait a minute, I think I can carry this
tenor part on my own.” There were only six other women singing, and Brother
Mills singing bass. We tried it and it sounded amazing. We were more of an
ensemble than a choir, but our song was a tender lullaby, so it was fitting.
The night of
the concert arrived with a huge snowstorm. We were all afraid to drive to the
stake center. A few of us didn’t brave it. But enough of us arrived safely to
perform the song, and our dear accompanist, Sister Ryszka, had arrived alive,
so we were going to be okay. As I rose to lead my “skeleton crew,” I prayed for
another Christmas Music Miracle. The choir sang like angels. It was such a
sweet performance, and we enjoyed the rest of the concert, as well. My prayer
was answered. We received another miracle, though it was different than the
year before.
This
experience strengthened my testimony that God make us equal to our day,
especially as we serve in the church. I don’t always understand why certain
lessons or performances or activities turn out the way they do, but I know that
God guides us to give to others exactly what is needed. The meetings go the way
he needs them to go to accomplish his work when we allow him to lead us. When a
lesson or activity or music plan isn’t going the way I planned, I’ve learned to
truly “let go and let God,” because it’s His work and He knows the hearts of
His children and what they need.
Sustaining the Priesthood
Talks by
Naomi Johnson in 2013 then by Melinda Lowe in 2014 prompted me to be more
supportive of my husband and more trusting in God’s plan for his daughters as
well as his sons.
Many people
I love and respect have made some sound arguments about changing the way we use the
priesthood in the church. Many of these people have heartbreaking stories of
unrighteous dominion and other ecclesiastical abuses. Some have taken these
experiences to the conclusion that women should hold priesthood offices and
authority and then we’d have fewer of these problems. Listening to these ideas
began to create a fog of doubt and mistrust for me about the exercise and
misuse of priesthood authority. I wondered if there was something missing that
we as a church needed to ask for. Not necessarily ordination for women, but
something different than what we have now.
When Naomi
Johnson bore her testimony of the priesthood and working as a helpmeet with her
husband, it touched my heart. I told Heavenly Father I wanted those feelings
back; I told him I knew that my husband and leaders were worthy of my respect
and sustaining and I wanted to have compassion for my sisters who were hurting and calling for change, but I also wanted the doubts to go away. Elder Oaks’ April 2014
conference talk was also a wonderful balm for my concerns. I knew that our prophets were aware of our
concerns and have taken them to the Lord, and that things were as they should
be right now.
Fast forward
to Sister Melinda Lowe’s talk on sustaining the priesthood in Summer (?) 2014. She
shared several personal examples of adjusting her attitude to be more
supportive of her husband and the demands on his time as he tried to both
provide for their family and magnify his priesthood callings. It was such a
call out to me and all my murmuring and resentment about the time my husband
has to be away from us for his scouting and stake responsibilities. My mind
almost instantly changed from negativity to thinking, “I am so blessed to have
a husband who has a job and works hard for us AND is willing to share his time
and talents with the stake and with the scouts in our ward. He is blessing not
just our family, but future families who will be led by righteous, skilled men
who were once scouts with Brother Melin.” And I thought of all my friends whose
husbands never even try to support their families or honor their priesthood,
and I repented of my ingratitude right then.
I am so
grateful for my faithful sisters and their testimonies. They
helped me through a trial of my own faith and made me better through their
words and spirit. Sometimes Sacrament Meeting talks just directly address my spiritual needs and I am grateful for the preparation that goes into each meeting.
