FAMILY LETTER 01.28.18

Dear Loved Ones,   

Well, this busy week pulled us right out of our winter doldrums!  Last Monday night we had a crazy FHE. Everyone was being so weird, I even took photos. It wasn’t the most edifying night, but I sure love my little weirdos. Tuesday was a cleaning and errands day for me. It was Grandma Lyn’s  87^th birthday and I thought about her all day.  I got to touch base with two of my girlfriends, Jessi and Naomi, which is always a good thing. They remind me that I am not alone in my mama battles. Wednesday was a laundry day, and in the evening I helped Rich get ready for the awesome “Very Merry Unbirthday” party he and the deacons planned for the combined youth activity Wednesday night. He and Addie went to set up at around 6:15. I went to pick up Heidi from rehearsal at 6:45, and then dropped her and James off at the church. I had promised the little boys ice cream cones, but by the time we dropped off the big kids, they were asleep in their carseats! I came home and put them to bed and had some time to just read and relax before bed. The party seemed to be a big hit. Thursday after school Heidi had rehearsal and Addie had Running Club, but Rich met me and the little boys at Niles’ school for “Math Night.” We went to his classroom and he showed us how to play some fun math and reasoning games. Afterward, Daddy treated everybody to dinner at our brand new Taco Bell restaurant. I went to the Parent Support group for our community suicide impact group, which is always kind of harrowing but also edifying. If nothing else, it is a reminder to me of the silent suffering happening all around us, and that these are the places where the Lord’s work is truly being done. Friday Rich and James got all packed up and headed out with the scouts to the Winter Camporee. That night the girls and me and the little boys got Chinese food and watched the Fantastic Mr. Fox. It was so nice to have a quiet night at home. Saturday, though—wow. I got up at 7:30am and fed the boys. Heidi and I went to Bozeman to go shopping at 8:30am. Addie watched the boys while we got some new clothes and necessities for Heidi at Target and groceries at Costco. We hurried home so she could be at the Shane Center at 12:30 for her 2pm and 5pm performances of “The Wizard of Oz.” I went home and picked up the little boys and took them to the Johnson’s to play while I did Addie’s hair and she and I went to the 2pm show. After the show, Addie hurried home and got ready for the Winter Formal while I cleaned out the van and put most of the groceries away. Rich got home from Camporee around 4:15pm, and I left to start picking up kids to go to the dance at 4:30pm. Rich and James hopped in the shower and met Grandpa and Grandma Melin at the 5pm show of “The Wizard of Oz.” Rich said everyone loved the show and Grandpa Melin laughed all the way through it. Our ward friend Sidney Denniston starred as Dorothy and did a great job!  Heidi played a sassy crow who picked on the scare crow, then a poppy who put the main characters to sleep, then a jitterbug who danced Dorothy to sleep. She has great comedic timing and stage presence. I wish we had more options for her to do workshops and auditions, but it’s nice that we at least have these two little theaters in town. Rich brought Heidi and the boys home after the show. They ate camping leftovers and watched the classic movie, “The Wizard of Oz.” Meanwhile, I drove a vanload of kids over to the stake dinner/dance. Last week it sounded like only 4 kids were coming, but we ended up with 14! I am grateful for all the work that goes into providing these fun activities—they all had a ball.

When I was watching the Wizard of Oz and noticing all the allegories, I was thinking about this talk I listened to last week, given by Neal A. Maxwell in 1971. In it he said, “We need to understand in a more special way than we already do the weight that God puts on EXPERIENCE while we are in mortality …Our father is a loving father who wants us to have the happiness that results not from mere innocence, but from proven righteousness.” God does not, and probably cannot, just magically give us the gifts we seek. When we pray for patience or faith or charity, he doesn’t wave his Godly wand and grant us these qualities. Instead, He gives us experiences—trials, challenges, tests—that will, if we approach them with the right attitude, help us develop the gifts we seek. Likewise, the Wizard does not, cannot, bestow gifts upon Dorothy and her companions. Rather, he recognizes they have developed those gifts on their own through their experiences. And Dorothy had the power within herself to grant her own wish, all along. THAT reminded me of Jacob 4:6: “…and having all these witnesses we obtain a hope, and our faith becometh unshaken, insomuch that WE TRULY CAN command in the name of Jesus and the very trees obey us, or the mountains, or the waves of the sea.” It is kind of beautiful to have lived a few years (ahem! ;)) and to see the pattern of experience, repentance, and forgiveness working daily in our lives to make us who we are meant to be, working together for our good. It really does strengthen my faith to see the Lord taking things that once seemed like insurmountable roadblocks to me and turning them into my greatest life lessons and refining experiences. Obstacles just aren’t so intimidating once you see what the Lord can do with them.

We love you all! We are getting excited for “Love Day” and hope you feel an abundance of it this week.

Love, Jamie and Rich and Family

 

HOMECOMING

When it was time for me to return home from my mission, my heart was truly rent with the bittersweetness of seeing my earthly family again, but saying good bye to my mission family, the new loved ones I had found, and the beautiful land of Eastern North Carolina, which had become my ‘Waters of Mormon’ (“How beautiful are they [the waters of Mormon] to the eyes of them who there came to the knowledge of their Redeemer!” –Mosiah 18:30). To add insult to injury, I was the last missionary to leave the airport. We hugged and said tearful goodbyes as the other Elders and Sisters boarded their planes heading to parts west. My President and his assistants had work to do, so when my flight to Akron, Ohio (where my mom had moved during my mission) was delayed, they walked me to my gate and said good bye. As I watched President Hickman walk away, I began to weep. I was surprised by the depth of my grief. I did not want to leave my mission. I did not want to lose the Spirit and structure and sense of purpose I felt as a missionary. Although it is possible to have those things outside of the mission, I hadn’t experienced them before. I was terrified that if I left my mission, those things would disappear from my life and I wanted them more than anything. Even more than being with my loved ones again or resuming my hobbies—more than ANYTHING.

As I regained my composure, I began to examine my feelings. Why was I so sad? What was I going to miss? I recognized this experience as a parable, as the Spirit trying to teach me, but didn’t my heart have it backward? Isn’t leaving on a mission and heading home again a similitude of our mortal probation—leaving parents to learn and grow and serve, and then returning back to where we belong as an improved being? The going home is supposed to be the happy part. Then I recognized what was happening:  this was not a similitude, it was a re-run! The truth is I had never felt at home in the world, and in reality I didn’t even really have a home to return to—my parents had split up, my mom had moved across the country,  and I was flying to a place I had never been. Sure, it would be nice to be with my mom, siblings, and extended family again, but then what? Couldn’t I come back? Why couldn’t I be a Mormon nun? Nope, the truth was I felt much more “at home” being a missionary than I’d ever felt in my “regular life,” and once again I was having the experience of leaving where I belonged and going to a place where I always felt like a fish out of water, a little bit lost and struggling for breath. I was comforted in that moment and told I’d go home and find my path, but my ministry would never end. I was also warned that it wouldn’t be easy to find my next companion and investigators, but to hold on anyway.

So I walked down the ramp to board the plane with a heavy but hopeful heart. I’ve found a way to breathe and to be in the world and have joy. I’ve found ways to minister to the people around me without the super powers of a name tag. I even found my new companion—the forever one— and we made ourselves some awesome little investigators. But deep in my heart, I still miss my real home and look forward to returning there when my work is done.

These words from Elder Maxwell capture my experience and my hopes so well:

“We are not now ready for all things the Lord has prepared in the City of God for them that love Him. (See 1 Cor. 2:9.) Our present eyes are unready for things which they have not yet seen, and our ears are not prepared for the transcending sounds and music of that city.

“The trek will be proving and trying. Faith, patience, and obedience are essential (see Mosiah 23:21; Abr. 3:25), but he who completes the journey successfully will be immeasurably added upon. (see Abr. 3:26.) And he who does not will have subtracted from the sum of his possibilities.

“When we arrive home, we shall be weary and bruised. But at last our aching homesicknesses will cease. Meanwhile, our mortal homecomings are but faint foreshadowings of that Homecoming.” (Neal A. Maxwell, “Called and Prepared from the Foundations of the World,” 1986). 

Seriously can't wait.

Tucson Airport, May 1994

FAMILY LETTER 01.22.01

Dear Loved Ones,                                           

The January doldrums continue, as I can hardly remember anything remarkable about this week. It’s been pleasant. Reminds me of a favorite Sundays song (When I’m Thinking About You), “When you’re coasting a long and nobody’s trying too hard, you can turn around and like where you are.” We like where we are.

We love that we got to have Grandpa and Grandma Melin over for Family Night on Monday—they even brought dinner! We started a new game called, “When I Was Your Age,” and it was Niles’ turn to ask Grandma about what life was like for her when she was six or seven. Next time we play, I’m going to record their answers because all I can remember a week later is that Grandma sure loved her tricycle and she lived in Roy, Montana. We also watched a snippet of President Monson’s funeral and discussed ways—big and small— we can go to bed every night feeling like we’ve done some good today.  We also got to celebrate Heidi getting a part in the middle school production of “Wizard of Oz” with our community theater. They practice for 9 days then put on their show, all in 2 weeks! The show is this Saturday and we are excited! Tuesday was an exciting day because Uncle Drew turned 40 and we learned that Russell M. Nelson had been set apart as our prophet on Sunday January 14^th in a special broadcast. It was great to hear from the first presidency right away. Wednesday was a laundry and writing day for me and that night the kids had YW and Scouts. The girls learned to make bread—yum! Thursday I deep cleaned the downstairs, which I rarely do because it is so futile. It breaks my spirit to see what my kids do down there in their “den of iniquity,” with dirty dishes, fruit snack and cheese stick wrappers, dirty socks and tissues, et cetera, stuffed in couch cushions and shoved into corners, not to mention the big messes like blanket forts, toys, board games, legos, etc.—but it’s gotta be done once in a while. Clean family room and play room were short lived, of course, because James and Niles both had friends over after school and Ammon was trying to join in. The girls both had rehearsals and friend stuff after school, but there was no school Friday so Thursday was like a Friday night. Friday morning we all got up late and had breakfast and cleaned up the kitchen. Addie went on a run with Conor then he came over for brunch and “Chillin with Bob Ross.” I took the little boys to the park even though it was starting to snow. I had promised them a date and they begged for Happy Meals, so we got those and had a picnic in the playground towers because it was snowing even harder. They ran around like crazy for an hour, then abruptly decided they were too cold, so we got in the warm van and came home for cocoa and snuggles.  I took Heidi to rehearsals and Addie to get some Valentines. We put on some music and made Valentines and dinner and had a nice quiet snowy evening at home. Our boxed set of Harry Potter movies finally arrived, so of course the weekend was a Harry Potter marathon.  Saturday was the definition of “puttering around the house.” Did some chores here, some errands there, took a nap, made some food. The girls had a busy day, though. They had a YW brunch followed by a service project followed by ukulele lessons, and then Addie had a date. Rich had to run some stuff out to the ranch, so he took the boys to see the Grandparents. The rest of us, of course, watch Harry Potter. I was feeling crummy so I took a bath and went to bed early.  I had a migraine and crazy leg in the early hours of Sunday, so I missed church, but my family went and said all the talks were awesome and the Young Women’s lesson was awesome (Divine Nature, having a mother heart). For home church I watched the most recent BYU devotional with Elder Curtis after I rested and took medicine. In his talk, Elder Curtis held up notes he took at a devotional with Neal A. Maxwell in 1971, before Maxwell was an apostle. I looked up that Maxwell’s 1971 talk and listened to it, as well. There is no transcript, just audio, so I took a bunch of notes. It was so great—so many of those one-line zingers. I felt better in the afternoon, so I baked some birthday cakes for friends and delivered them with Addie before we had a little supper of clam chowder and hit the hay. Without writing this letter. So now it’s Monday morning and my work is calling. I wish you all a wonderful week! Special wishes for a happy birthday to Grandma Lyn on Tuesday—we love you, Gram!

Love, Jamie and Rich and Family

1/19-Hiding in the playground tower

1/19- My little Knights (Ammon and Niles) protecting me in my snow tower.

Funny Valentine-- even though he's Elder Uchtdorf again.