Well-meant advice just sounds like thinly-veiled criticism if it's not asked for. Unless one asks for advice, all you are saying is that you don't approve the way that person is handling the situation on which you are advising them.
I have been on both sides of this fence (I'm sure I am guilty of advising), but for some reason I have been getting a barrage of unsolicited advice lately and to me it's starting to sound like, "Hi, you're an idiot and you obviously can't handle even the smallest detail in your life so I am going to tell you how I do it so you can stop being an idiot, yadda, yadda, yadda--what's that you say? You've lived on your own for 16 years and you have made conscious CHOICES to do what you do? Well, that's a long time to be wrong! Here, try it this way."
Please. Make. It. Stop.
I know that the above quotations are not what my advisors are thinking, I'm just saying that's what it's starting to SOUND like. Please, if I have ever made you feel this way, I beg your forgiveness. Good intentions can really go awry.
PS: Gotta go clean out the old apartment--3 years of dirt!!-- but I have interior decor pix coming soon for my sisters and mom who have expressed interest. For the rest of you who are tired of looking at my house, check back in a couple of days!!! ;)
7 comments:
Have you ever noticed that those who tell us what we should be doing have often done "so well" with their own lives?
Yes, often that's true! In this particular case, my "advisors" are people that I do indeed admire and because of that, I have sought their advice before. However, I do realize that right and wrong only go so far; what works for one family or person does not neccesarily (or usualy doesn't) work for another. There are so many areas and choices in life that are relative to one's lifestyle and tastes. So while there are many things I admire about others--their style, their talents, their efficiency--I also recognize that I have a lifestyle of my own and I generally do a good job managing it. Thank you very much. :)
I love it all, It really is BEAUTIFUL. I love the teal in the kitchen and I want your table!!!! I love and miss you sooooo much, you guys look like you are having so much fun putting your new house together. I wish I was there.
We miss you , too, Lulu! That dining table has FOUR more leaves--it can be 8 feet long--and we got it at a thrift store last year for $100. Rich is so good at finding and refinishing things--it's a hobby for us both. He also made the benches in one night. Thanks for your comments! Love you!
I hope that you weren't refering to anything I've said...........I try really hard Not to sound that way..I love you and WISH I was there. I want to play too.
Nope, mom! Believe it or not, it's NOT you! In fact I have really appreciated your support lately. I feel like you "GetMe" which is a rare feeling since I moved to BFE.
This goes right along with one of my recent posts about getting advice! I love how you worded everything and I totally agree and feel like such an idiot sometimes! The cool thing about being your younger sister is I feel like I never need to give you advice!
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