Goodbye Girls

Last Wednesday night was my last night with the Young Women at church. I was released from the Young Women’s Presidency on Sunday 10/9 and assigned to be the Ward Newsletter (“The Liahona”) editor. It was surprisingly painful to leave my fun little class of 4 girls, all ages 12 or 13. They are so much fun and I love them to pieces. With every change in church assignments I have this feeling like, “Wait, wait, wait! I’m not done yet! I need to implement such and such, and I need to tell so-and-so something,”etc., etc. I am realizing that the only way to avoid this feeling is to act immediately upon inspiration and not wait for a better time or whatever to accomplish the thing. At any rate, I just really have strong feelings about the Young Women’s program and I hope my girls know how much I love them and how much I wish I could just build a smooth bridge to adulthood over which they could glide and come out at age 21, wise and beautiful and good and educated and confident. But there is no way out but through adolescence, I am afraid, and hopefully all the bumps and bruises of middle school and high school make us stronger and more confident rather that more unsure of ourselves and our beliefs.

I want to say how thankful I am to have the Young Women’s program and leaders in the church who love and care about these girls and see the incredible obstacles that stand in the way of their morality, modesty, and –sadly—their self-confidence and sense of worth. It is a beautiful thing to see these girls who could be doing a million other things (and dressing like little hooches) showing up on Wednesdays, Sundays, and other days to be together and learn/do good things. I really honor them for that because 99% of the world just wouldn’t do it. I was really touched (granted, I am a little hormonal) by two talks from last general conference—one by Susan Tanner (General Young Women’s President) and another by Jeffrey Holland, both aimed at the Young Women. The very fact that they addressed these things shows me how in tune they are to the needs of the girls—and even women like me! If you get a minute, click on those links and read their talks.

Anyway, we tivo’ed conference, so I went back and watched those two talks in preparation for an activity a couple of weeks ago about beauty and making the best of what God gave us. I wanted the focus to be on self-respect, and my arsenal was LOADED after re-watching these two talks. Also, my heart was full and I cried. I cried because the world is such an ugly place to raise two beautiful girls. I cried because so many young women (and older women) loathe themselves and stifle their spirits because of how they are made to feel about their physical bodies. I cried because I am guilty of that and I feel terrible for passing on my bad attitude to my girls. For instance, I always call myself “Fat Mommy” and I have told Addie I can’t go to the Hot Springs because they don’t make suits big enough for me, and I am not leaving the house until I am back to my normal size. How sick is that? I promised myself that food and body image would not be huge issues in our house (because they were in mine growing up and when I am w/ family I still feel really second rate because I have gained weight), but I suppose I need to resolve my own issues to create a healthy environment for my girls (I have made great strides, by the way—I have been exercising regularly for 8 months now--ah, I LOVE it! I am addicted to teh endorphins-- and we always talk about how much we love fresh food the way Heavenly Father made it for us, etc.—thing can only get better, right?). But I also criend tears of gratitude to know the truth about the worth of each of us.

Anyway, I just feel so blessed and lucky to have guidance and inspiration for raising my girls. The Young Women’s program is so cool. I especially love the seven values: Faith, Divine Nature, Individual Worth, Knowledge, Choice and Accountability, Good Works, & Integrity. They encompass everything we need to be strong, intelligent women in this world, and a force for good in all that we do. Understanding who we are—daughters of God with many of his divine qualities—and what we are expected to do—gain knowledge, respect ourselves, take responsibility, serve others with our talents, and stick to our guns—give us all power and purpose in a world where women are often lost, neglected, abused, and confused. I will really miss being part of the program but it will always be a part of me.