The first week of March was like Mom's Hell Week up in here, with a zillion appointments and commitments all piled into five days. Toward the end of the week, one of the most demanding days was Parent Teacher Conference day--3 meetings, back-to-back. With the streak of luck we've had lately (you may have heard our house we are selling has been under contract for 107 days and counting), I wasn't exactly looking forward to conferences.
They turned out to be a gold-medal moment for me, for which I am grateful. I really needed that.
So thanks, kids and teachers.
There was a moment that deeply touched and changed my heart, though, that I really need to record.
Back story: it's no secret that our Heidi Lynn is a spirited girl who has challenged us at every turn (and may still). I have been trying desperately to bridge a gap in our relationship for a few years (the gap has many factors, including that she's my mini-me, only with no fear, so sometimes we clash, and also that I was in a deep and horrific and drawn-out depressive episode when she was born and took a nosedive for a few months thereafter), praying that her worst acting-out wasn't spreading to other relationships/places (you know, keep a tight lid on The Crazy--only freak out at home, that's our family motto, lol).
|my favorite picture of Heidi--17 months old|
Well, her teacher sat me down at the conference and showed me her grades and some of her work as usual. There was nothing to worry about. But then she pushed all that aside and said, "There is something else that's not on these papers that I want you to know. As a mother, I would want to know this." (Uh-oh) She proceeded to tell me that Heidi is a one-of-a-kind kid, that she is friendly and sensitive and hyper-aware. She said Heidi is the most empathetic child she has ever met, and that she has these deep emotional reactions to the historical fiction they are reading and the issues they discuss in social studies. She speaks up when she notices injustices, in her reading and in the classroom. She always comforts people who are sad or hurt, even people who aren't very nice to her. "In short," her teacher said, "Heidi has a SOUL--this huge, generous, loving soul. You can't teach that at school. You should be proud of her."
I SO AM.
Lynners, I am so lucky to be your mom! I am so under qualified, it's not even funny, but you are teaching me so much and making me a better person. I am so sorry when I hurt you or I don't understand you. I hope you know I am trying super hard and repenting all the time. Most of all I hope when you're all grown up, you will remember how much we love you, how much you have lit up our family and made it a hundred times more fun and exciting and hilarious. You are beautiful, smart, kind, capable, talented...a blessing to me and to the whole world who gets to know you.