my cherub
Monday, June 27, 2005
No One Has Come For Her
Heidi woke up from her afternoon nap a while ago. I went in to get her and she was sitting up in the middle of my bed, smiling brightly, and she cocked her head and waved at me. My heart just about broke, looking at this roly-poly bundle of love with her halo of gold hair, rosy cheeks, angelic grin and new pearly teeth, this cherub fallen into my bed.
Then I had this thought, this illogical thought that I had a few times with Addie, too-- in a split second, I thought to myself, "This cannot be the tiny baby I had last year, this angel cannot have sprung from me...but she must be mine because, you know, I've had her the whole time and no one has come for her." Isn't that funny? I seriously have this weird time warp thing where I just look at this big ol' baby and wonder where did the time go? How did you get so big in an hour? And I always conclude that this baby must be mine because no one has come for her. Weird, my brain.
PS: Weird thing that Addie does: When she makes Heidi cry, she immediately starts singing, "Twinkle Little Star" at warp speed, a little louder than Heidi happens to be crying, a lame attempt at (a) consoling her sister and (b) saving her own hide from getting in trouble for making her sister cry in the first place.
Then I had this thought, this illogical thought that I had a few times with Addie, too-- in a split second, I thought to myself, "This cannot be the tiny baby I had last year, this angel cannot have sprung from me...but she must be mine because, you know, I've had her the whole time and no one has come for her." Isn't that funny? I seriously have this weird time warp thing where I just look at this big ol' baby and wonder where did the time go? How did you get so big in an hour? And I always conclude that this baby must be mine because no one has come for her. Weird, my brain.
PS: Weird thing that Addie does: When she makes Heidi cry, she immediately starts singing, "Twinkle Little Star" at warp speed, a little louder than Heidi happens to be crying, a lame attempt at (a) consoling her sister and (b) saving her own hide from getting in trouble for making her sister cry in the first place.
Somewhere Down the Crazy River
It's been a busy Monday already, trying to catch up from our topsy-turvy, very somber weekend. After 11pm on Friday night, men from church called and asked for all able-bodied men to join the search for the missing boy scout on Saturday morning at 5am. He fell into the Yellowstone River about 55 miles south of us in North Yellowstone Park. We had to meet the excavator at our house and form our driveway on Saturday morning, so we didn't go with our ward, but late Saturday afternoon, my brother Matt and his family arrived from Helena--the boy's home town--to join the search. Rich came home from working on the house and went down to Gardiner with Matt while Amie and I got my house in order and headed down to the ranch to set up camp--about 15 miles closer to the action. Rich and Matt met us there, saying they would join the search in the morning after a special 7am sacrament meeting in Gardiner.
I ate dinner at the ranch, but brought the girls home to sleep and attend our own church (I was teaching ) on Sunday. Matt, Amie, Jake, and Rich got back from the search around 4pm, tired and sunburned and quiet. Amie had helped feed the 200+ search volunteers and Rich's & Matt's search party found the boy's second tennis shoe early in the day. But by Sunday evening, there was still no sign of his body.
Of course it has been heavy on all our minds. When we camped, we camped up near the quonset hut, not on the banks of the river--an obvious, unspoken effort to avoid the same fate. And at the gym this morning , all the ladies were talking about it--they got the story, shook their heads, and then it was quiet--all these moms, lifting weights and probably thinking what I had thought: what would you ever do if you lost a child? What would the river be like after that? What if you were the scout master? Who makes the call and what do they say? It's really so horrible.
It's so cliche, but it makes one's goodbyes much more careful because, as morbid as it is, every goodbye could be your last. I mean, one sends one's kids off to camp on the assumption they will be back in a week or two, sun burned and bug-bitten and exhausted. But what if they DIDN'T come home? I would at least hope out last interactions had been full of love. Ugh!--it's so sad.
So silly me--my first morning thought was, "Man, I have so much to do today to catch up!" (I would be the world's worst single mother). But I immediately felt guilty for my grumping about. I have both of my kids and my husband, safe and sound, to clean up after, and I am so grateful to have the kind of husband who gives up his rare free time to serve a family in need. No question, no complaints. I hope to be half as good a person as he is someday.
Today is the first day of Addie's Play School, so I had better get ready for 90 minutes of letters, numbers, seasons, holidays, shapes, and music! Be sure to click on the green link above and keep the Sanburg family in your prayers.
I ate dinner at the ranch, but brought the girls home to sleep and attend our own church (I was teaching ) on Sunday. Matt, Amie, Jake, and Rich got back from the search around 4pm, tired and sunburned and quiet. Amie had helped feed the 200+ search volunteers and Rich's & Matt's search party found the boy's second tennis shoe early in the day. But by Sunday evening, there was still no sign of his body.
Of course it has been heavy on all our minds. When we camped, we camped up near the quonset hut, not on the banks of the river--an obvious, unspoken effort to avoid the same fate. And at the gym this morning , all the ladies were talking about it--they got the story, shook their heads, and then it was quiet--all these moms, lifting weights and probably thinking what I had thought: what would you ever do if you lost a child? What would the river be like after that? What if you were the scout master? Who makes the call and what do they say? It's really so horrible.
It's so cliche, but it makes one's goodbyes much more careful because, as morbid as it is, every goodbye could be your last. I mean, one sends one's kids off to camp on the assumption they will be back in a week or two, sun burned and bug-bitten and exhausted. But what if they DIDN'T come home? I would at least hope out last interactions had been full of love. Ugh!--it's so sad.
So silly me--my first morning thought was, "Man, I have so much to do today to catch up!" (I would be the world's worst single mother). But I immediately felt guilty for my grumping about. I have both of my kids and my husband, safe and sound, to clean up after, and I am so grateful to have the kind of husband who gives up his rare free time to serve a family in need. No question, no complaints. I hope to be half as good a person as he is someday.
Today is the first day of Addie's Play School, so I had better get ready for 90 minutes of letters, numbers, seasons, holidays, shapes, and music! Be sure to click on the green link above and keep the Sanburg family in your prayers.
Friday, June 24, 2005
Acclimating
I am famous for whining about the weather, but this time I am whining about the heat. Last week when we got home from Utah, it was still barely reaching 60 degrees and the girls had to wear jackets to the park. It was kind of a bummer, but I thought we were in for a warm up and we'd be enjoying a few weeks of 75 degree weather in no time.
Only a week later, Rich and I were taking the girls out to lunch and we were SO HOT! I told him to take the girls to McDonald's because they have an indoor play place and they wouldn't get all sweaty and dirty. And then we laughed and I said, "What has happened to me? It's probably 80 degrees and I am cryin' about it! I don't think I could ever live in Southern Arizona again!"
WHAT!?! Did I say...? Yep, the heat made me blaspheme the desert!
I felt a little better when I watched the news that night--it was about 102 degrees in Billings and 94 in Livingston, so that made me feel a little less whimpy. Besides, we didn't get a "run-up" the the 90's--I mean, it was cold and then it was hot. NICE... Not. And It's still dusk outside at 10pm! But not for long, since Tuesday was officially the longest day of the year.
I checked weather.com and it said that Tucson, like Billings, was 102 degrees last Tuesday. Hmm. And Livingston's average temperature for this time of year is 75 degrees, so at least there is hope that the 90's won't last too long!
And finally, there is sad, sad summer news: the city has shut down the fabulous FREE wading pool in Sacajawea Park (because there is no lifeguard--dang that liability stuff!) In like 40 years, nobody has even been hurt or drowned there, I don't get it. We are officially bummed and now we have to go buy a wading pool for our future backyard (rumor has it that we will be moving in around July 18th...I'll believe it when I see it!)
SACAJAWEA WADING POOL, R.I. P.
Only a week later, Rich and I were taking the girls out to lunch and we were SO HOT! I told him to take the girls to McDonald's because they have an indoor play place and they wouldn't get all sweaty and dirty. And then we laughed and I said, "What has happened to me? It's probably 80 degrees and I am cryin' about it! I don't think I could ever live in Southern Arizona again!"
WHAT!?! Did I say...? Yep, the heat made me blaspheme the desert!
I felt a little better when I watched the news that night--it was about 102 degrees in Billings and 94 in Livingston, so that made me feel a little less whimpy. Besides, we didn't get a "run-up" the the 90's--I mean, it was cold and then it was hot. NICE... Not. And It's still dusk outside at 10pm! But not for long, since Tuesday was officially the longest day of the year.
I checked weather.com and it said that Tucson, like Billings, was 102 degrees last Tuesday. Hmm. And Livingston's average temperature for this time of year is 75 degrees, so at least there is hope that the 90's won't last too long!
And finally, there is sad, sad summer news: the city has shut down the fabulous FREE wading pool in Sacajawea Park (because there is no lifeguard--dang that liability stuff!) In like 40 years, nobody has even been hurt or drowned there, I don't get it. We are officially bummed and now we have to go buy a wading pool for our future backyard (rumor has it that we will be moving in around July 18th...I'll believe it when I see it!)
SACAJAWEA WADING POOL, R.I. P.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
We "Heart" Nicole
Nicole and her sister are great babysitters for a lot of reasons--they play games, they clean up, the girls love them-- but the best reason might be that Nicole makes great chocolate chip cookies (with Addie's help, of course!) Thanks for all your help, Nicole and Moriah! You are fabulous babysitters! Look at Addie and Heidi gobbling up those cookies...
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Solstice
This is a photo taken Halloween 1971, also known as the day I was blessed. That's my Grandma Lyn, my Great Grandma Marie, me, and my Mom, Lyndi. "Gramaree" would have been 93 today (I think--she has been gone 9 years now). Her birthday makes the Summer Solstice special.
Water Girls
Our family took a summer job caring for the yard of one of our insurance customers. Sometimes we mow and groom on Monday nights for our Family Home Evening activity. It was so hot yesterday, we thought the girls would enjoy running through the sprinklers. Boy, did they! They were adorable.
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