On The Edge

It's amazing exactly how far away I can get from being the person I planned to be/should be/can be/want to be on a given day. Nothing I did today turned out well at all. Most things were downright horrible. And so were my reactions. Wait--I take that back. Vacuuming under and all around the couch, loveseat and chair cushions went well. They are very clean and the vacuuming was uneventful, and I found 84 cents in the process.

I am tired so I won't even begin to list all the terrible two-year-old things Addie did today (aside: she always packs her naughtiness into one horrible day every other month or so, and the rest of the time she is a generally sweet little girl). But here's ONE: I woke up to her standing next to my bed saying, "Mommy, I need a bath. Mo-o-o-m, wake up! I need a bath"--covered from hair to toes in Desitin!! And that was just the 8 o'clock hour.

Suffice it to say that I spent the 3 o'clock hour in tears, with Addie crying in her bedroom and Heidi crying on my lap. Three tired and yucky-feeling drama queens under one roof...not so pretty. Potty training has gone slightly awry and I think I lost my marbles as I rinsed out a third pair of panties and Addie refused to nap. In my current state of long-term sleep deprivation, that is the worst thing that could have happened today. After my twenthy-somethingth night of less than 5 hours of sleep and no naps, my eyes refuse to focus, I have a constant cough, I tried to put my bra on outside of my shirt and I left Addie in the tub for a half hour...all I need is a nap.

Well, now it's 11:oopm and here I still am. I am taking a Unisom and sleeping through the night if it kills me (the girls haven't been sleeping well since mid-August because they have bad coughs and congestion from either allergies or a very persistent colds, therefore I haven't been sleeping well either). I have to wake up with some energy and health so I can keep up. I have to be a better mom and wife and have patience AND good sense to spare. Right now the well is dry and it's times like these that I miss my close girlfriends and I wish my mom were close by (one's in-laws never seem to understand such exhaustion, such end-of-my-rope-ness). Shucks.

Exhausted and isolated and freaking out. I'm off to meditate and medicate til it all goes away...more (and BETTER) tomorrow...

This is my sister, Sara, with her new baby Brady, born Saturday, August 28th in Michigan. 

Brady being admired by his Daddy and brother. 

Panties and Pops: We have been trying to potty train Adeline for 15 months on and off. She almost got it before Heidi was born but then she went on a total anti-potty jag for the past 6 months. Well, yesterday morning I got up and she was sitting on the potty. She said, "Hi Mom. I need some panties." And she's been pretty successful ever since. She gets an Otter pop (which we just bought Tuesday) after she potties successfully--maybe that was the secret all along!

On Monday I stayed home with the girls while Rich worked on the house because Heidi has been sick. Addie and I made cupcakes for one of my visit-teachee's birthdays. Addie loves to help in the kitchen! 

...And that's Rich with Addie and Heidi on a big log at the ranch. 

That's Heidi and me out at the ranch Sunday night. 

On Sunday night, we celebrated "Labor Eve" by roasting marshmallows our at the ranch. In this picture, I am snuggled up with Adeline and Heidi (that's my dad-in-law's arm). 

Rich's brother, Jess, and his family are visiting us for the Labor Day weekend from Minot, ND, where Jess is a B-52 pilot in the Air Force. Here they are at Chico--that's baby Summer (born May 4th), Kelli, Jess, and TJay (just turned 2). 

Adeline at the hot springs with my inlaws tonight. She's a fearless little water baby! 

Here is the front of our house, facing north. The gravel is for the drive way (under the concrete).