My father-in-law bore his testimony at church today and told about an experience he had last week. On Thursday, he served as the look out on the Gardiner bridge, keeping an eye on the water, watching for Luke Sanburg's body. While he was standing watch, and older woman came over and asked his name, then hugged him and said, "Brother Melin, thank you so much for being here. I'm Luke's Grandmother." As the were talking, she asked him to come over and talk to Luke's younger brother, Ben, who was over at the side of the bridge and had just learned that his brother was almost certainly dead.
So dad went over to talk to Ben. Ben asked, "Is my brother really dead?" and Dad answered, "Yes, he is." Ben cried a little bit more and they talked and Dad asked him some questions about himself. He asked, "What is your most favorite thing to do , Ben?" and Ben said, "To play with Luke." Well, of course that was like a stab to the heart and dad choked up and said, "Ben, I promise you that if you keep doing the things that you know are right, you will get to play with Luke again. You are going to hold the priesthood soon, and if you stay worthy of the priesthood and live a good life, you will play with Luke again."
Then Dad expressed his gratitude for knowing that our relationships are eternal and gratitude for the Savior who made them so. I echo the sentiment. I suppose it's one of my favorite doctrines--to know that Christ made it possible for us, as we repent and do our best in life, to gain intelligence and build relationships that will last forever. It reminded me of that song--
"It's hard to say goodbye and let go
And it's hard to see it end
When the memories we have made
will never happen again
But it's harder for time
to ever erase
the together times we've shared
So when we're apart, remember
All the love we've shared together
And for all that love
Thank the Lord above
who showed us the way
That we can be
Together Forever someday."
Relationships give life meaning and the best ones can and should be eternal. Time spent building or improving or enjoying a relationship is an investment; we should never count time spent enjoying our loved ones as wasted. So what if we didn't get everything on our to-do lists checked off? Our checklists--the ones with the priorities that really matter--should always have "strengthen a relationship" and "learn something new" and "do something good" at the top. It's the people, not the chores or the programs or the accomplishments, that matter.
Ouch! I just hurt my ankle stepping off my soapbox. I hope you get what I was trying to share, even if it's not what you believe.
3 comments:
I heard about this case on the news. It's very sad. I am sure you have heard about the missing girl in Aruba who is from a suburb of Birmingham just miles away from where I live. You are right about the to-do list. It was very hard for me to let go of the fact that there were so many things I didn't get to do with my friend Andrea, mainly see her become a mother. I was so angry about that for a long while and have now, after two years, come to realize the eternalness of our lives and I believe love is a permanent, it just changes forms. After going through this experience I am more spiritual now than I have ever been. I have had strange ironic events happen since Andrea died that let me know she is still with me and I fully believe that. Seeing my great friends and next door neighbors have their first baby has been a real bright sunbeam of light shining down on me and our neighborhood and it gives me a real positive and excited feeling to know that I will get to be a part of his life. I don't think what you are stepping on here is a soapbox, I think it just making the very real point that every day of our lives is a gift with no guarantees of what is to come. When something tragic happens it forces us to think about what we have here and now and not obsess about the future (which can be so hard to do). After Andrea died I realized how bad that tendency is -- to only think about the future and what you might not get that you assumed was a given. So much of that is out of our control. I am reminded of the John Lennon lyric "Life is what happens to you
while you’re busy making other plans".I guess one of the positive things that has come out of this grief is that it has forced me to look at all my relationships and to let the people I love, in no uncertain terms, know how much I love and appreciate them because the future is not a promise.
I love the lyrics for Together Forever. I can't listen or read them without getting choked up. Mom use to make us watch that and I would ball! That is a touching story about Tom and little Ben. I don't know if I could have a conversation with anyone who just lost a loved one and know what to say. He said just the right thing and that is so sweet.
Life is short, and we must take the time to tell those we love and appreciate how we feel about them, when we feel it or think of them. I love you more than words can say. I am so proud of you and things you have accomplished so far in your life.
Love mom
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