Thursday, April 10, 2008

'Til We Meet...

The loss of little Kraven has haunted me all week, has caused me to ponder life, death, and family, and to pray fervently for the Smith and Carlisle families. So I hope it won't offend anyone if I share the following thoughts openly with my blog readers. Please read the following with the reverence the subject deserves...I just wanted to let you into my head this week.

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Dear Jess,

I have been really shaken by the loss of Kraven, touched by your blogs, curious if 'they' found any rhyme or reason to her drowning...

I don't know if it's even appropriate, but I wanted to share this little experience I had at the Jordan River Temple on Friday morning. It's probably no secret that I have a bit of an anxiety problem, exacerbated three-fold now by mothering three precious children. I am almost always seeking encouragement and confirmation that I am on the right track in my mother- and wife-hood when I am at the temple. So we were doing some initiatory work and the words "til you have completed your work on the earth" kept standing out to me. The spirit then taught me so clearly that each of us has a work to accomplish and we go Home when it is done. That's just one more small bit of peace I can have in dealing with life and death and child-rearing. The first big lesson of motherhood was learning "They're My children, too, and I can be with them everywhere." The second is that, just like me, they will perform their work and they will go Home to Him. The time frame is different for all of us, but God bless Kraven for doing her work so efficiently, and God bless her family in her wake.

Your whole family is still on mind and in my prayers... Love, Jamie

***

Jamie,

Paige would love to hear all of that...I think you are so right about Kraven having finished her work. Because it was such an unexpected, peaceful slipping away I think we all feel that it was her time to go and for whatever reason Heavenly Father spared her from the troubles of this world... As for the reason she died, Paige is convinced that she died before she went under the water. The medical examiners have all said there is no sign that she drowned. Even if she was unconcious, her body would have struggled and there wasn't a mark or bruise to indicate that she struggled...[Paige has ]repeated her experience with seeing Kraven under the water, so peacefully asleep and then realizing that wasn't right and starting into action. She must have had super-mom strength because Kraven was nearly as tall as she is and 88 pounds. She immediatly started cpr and the police officer first on the scene helped her when he arrived. Then the paramedics came and were able to restart Kraven's heart. And Paige believes that Kraven was already gone by then...They think that Kraven had to recover circulation and be on the ventilator so she would be preserved to donate her organs... Paige said that when they took her off the ventilator last night (early this morning really) she looked so beautiful and peaceful. Death is an eternal event. Just like a birth, so I imagine that although its hard and very sad, it's just as beautiful to see a life go out of this world as it is to see one come in. Tim Hester is blessing his newest little baby girl this Sunday. Its a tough weekend for them because Tim and Julie's families are both just as heartbroken as all of us are about this. But I think its fitting to see these things together. He gives and He takes away. And we're all in this together... --Jessica

***

Thanks for this , Jessica...this email really felt like a hug from far away! I do feel less blue after reading it, and you can assure Shawna I am not freaking out about the tub! ;) Because (I know it sounds trite, but) you go when you go, and we need to live with faith, hope, and charity, and power--NOT fear!

Please do pass my thoughts and LOVE along to Paige. I have adored her since I met her 14 years ago, and my heart really goes out to her. She is amazing (like her mother).

...I love you, friend, and I love your extended families. I wish I could be there this week... a funeral and a baby blessing...like the Maria McKee song says, "Life is sweet, life is sweet, bittersweet, and the days keep rollin' along..." --Love, Jamie

***
Good-bye, Kraven (click here).

2 comments:

AuntieM said...

I am so touched by the testimonies give in this blog. How hard to lose a child. We think of all the things joyful that they will miss and yet we understand that they will not miss out on any of the things that really matter. It will only be at a different time. We then strive to be worthy to be with them again. The Tender Mercies of the Lord. I stand all amazed.

Aim said...

Jamie,
thank you so much for posting that. Such sweet thoughts and good insight you have. Even though we didn't know this family, our thoughts were troubled too and your words brough peace again.

Paige's family- you have been in our prayers along with many other families here in Helena, mt. May it help to bring you peace and comfort. We are thinking of you.

much love
matt and amie

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