"On one morning in the month of May...

...when all the birds were singing/ I saw a lovely maiden stray/ Across the fields at break of day/ She softly sung her roundele/The tide flows in and the tide flows out/ twice ev'ryday returning"

I been singin' that song in my head...May has been lovely. I have three posts (at least) floating around in my head and things have slowed down a bit at the hotel (my first night working since September). First, I have been editing some 2007 fotos and I really need to do a post about the beauty of Paradise Valley & my town...we've got some great pix!

Secondly, my little sis called me in tears on Tuesday, crying because--even after emergency gall bladder surgery--she is still have intense abdominal pain. She said she felt stupid for crying because she was crying more out of frustration than pain. I TOTALLY understood what she was saying! I just wanted to write this paragraph to (belatedly) empathize with Jill. Even though I have felt pretty good for almost a whole month (aside from the horrid second-degree sunburn I got in Cali, but that's another story for another day, after I get the after-effects examined), I remember clearly breaking down a few weeks after my surgery. My scar was healing, but I felt total exhaustion and deep muscle pains much like two years earlier before I even had a diagnosis or treatment. I felt furious at the possiblity that the past 2 years had been in vain and I was back where I started. I know I was sitting in the bathroom and the girls had called from the family room asking if we could do some activity together and I had to say, "No, mommy's way too tired. I have to go to bed, but you can come snuggle me" for the millionth time. It hurt to pick up my pajamas, and as I put them on, I just started BAWLING. I think that was the first time I ever let myself COMPREHEND what it means to have a chronic, incureable disease. For a little minute I let myself think, "What if I feel like this forever?" It was a terrible thought. But almost as quickly I remembered how many people live happy lives with so much more affliction than I have known, so my sadness was short-lived. But I get it, Jill, I really do. Of course I am grateful for the health I do have, but I think not feeling well enough to play with my kids is the number one thing that gets to me. I HATE it. I am so grateful for the month of health I have enjoyed...and it's MAY...what beautiful timing! I hope you are better soon, dear sis, and able to enjoy your new crib! You gotta weed that giant garden! Grow me some pumpkins and zucchini!

Another thing is this: I know Heavenly Father loves the children of the Livingston Ward Primary. Wanna know how I know this? Because I see His hand working to make our Primary better for their sakes almost everyday. And when I am thoroughly exhausted (as I have been for 9 consecutive days), I am quickened just enough to accomplish what needs to be done for Primary. And when I am out of good ideas, He enlightens me, sends flashes of insight, and helps our whole presidency be TOTALLY awesome when we may have been only partially awesome. When a Primary child has been absent for a while, they will be on my mind and in my prayers, and WITHOUT FAIL, I will cross paths with that child (or his parents) within days. This has nothing to do with me; it has everything to do with those children being precious to Him. And I love them, too.

So. Tomorrow is our big quarterly Primary activity and officially putting in the garden. Somewhere in there, I am going to take a nap, I swear. If I don't, I am going to keel over. So tomorrow or Sunday I will check in, post some old Paradise Valley pix and some new ones of our doin's. What are YOU gonna do to ring out May?