First, some background info. I have been super sick for 26 of the past 30 hours, barfing up my toenails. I am pretty sure it's pregnancy related because I have also felt a huge hormonal surge and it seems like the baby grew a foot over the past week. So anyway, I am all spacy and weak, but grateful to be up and feeling better. I finally stopped barfing at about 10am, so I got dressed and went to get my lab work done at the clinic. I stopped on the way home for some dinner ingredients, came home, and started preparing tonight's dinner and stew for tomorrrow night's dinner. I put on the new Christmas music mix I made for the Christmas Breakfast at church on Saturday and started chopping.
So when Sarah McLachlan's cover of Gordon Lightfoot's "Song For A Winter's Night" came on, I went on a little walk down memory lane. I remember listening to it as a little girl and just loving the song (not really getting the heart-wrenching meaning) (because Gordon Lightfoot was a religion at our house). Then I had a little Gordon renaissance after college and an old beau and I figured out the chords and we preformed it together a few times for friends. After we split up, it still gave me a little twinge of pain and memory of that good time. But today as I listened, my heart just broke for missing my Grandpa. And not really for me missing him, but for my Grandma without him this season. And then I went from a trickle of tears to The Ugly Cry and I had to get a paper towel and calm myself. I finished the stew and turned on the crock pot and came to the computer to see if there was a video of the song I could post.
I clicked through a few different videos, then clicked on the one posted below. It's dedicated to our military men and women. Cue more waterworks. Then I was crying for Brent, away from his wife and new baby for the holidays, and thousands of others like him. SOB! SNIFFLE! So maybe it's just me and my gestational hormones, but I dare you to watch this video without a box of tissues. If you are lucky enough, like me, to be holding the hands you love this holiday season, hold a little tighter and be thankful. And reach out to those who are alone this month.
The lamp is burning low upon my table top, the snow is softly falling
The air is still within the silence of my room, I hear your voice softly calling
If I could only have you near to breathe a sigh or two
I would be happy just to hold the hands I love on this winter night with you.
The smoke is rising in the shadows overhead, my glass is almost empty
I read again between the lines upon the page the words of love you sent me
If I could know within my heart that you were lonely too
I would be happy just to hold the hands I love upon this winter night with you.
The fire is dying now, my lamp is growing dim, the shades of night are lifting
The morning light steals across my windowpane where webs of snow are drifting
If I could only have you near to breathe a sigh or two
I would be happy just to hold the hands I love and to be once again with with you.
To be once again with with you. --Gordon Lightfoot
9 comments:
I loooove this song. I came upon it a few months ago for the first time and had it playing on my blog for a while. I just love Sarah. Such a talented artist.
Matt and I went to a vet dinner last night that the youth put on in their honor. They serve dinner to all the vets in our ward and their families every year. It's really sweet.
Anyway, Matt and I sat at a table with an older couple we hang out with quite a bit. As we ate, I listened to the husband recount some of his old Navy days. He came from humble circumstances when he joined up at age 17. So, while other men were complaining about the conditions of basic training, he remembers feeling so grateful to have clean clothes, a clean bed and 3 good meals a day.
I watched his wife listen patiently and adoringly at him even though she'd probably heard him tell this tale a thousand times before. The way the light caught her face in the room it was easy to imagine her in her late 20s when all this was happening to them.
I thought how ungrateful I've been for all the sacrifices these men and women make on my behalf. When I used to think of the military it wasn't exactly with a warm fuzzy feeling. But thats because I was only remembering all the negative. I hated that every time someone would bring it up I'd get all sour and bitter. I wanted to be more like this older couple who remembered it with a grateful heart.
Because I truly do feel grateful for these sacrifices. Especially during this time of year when soldiers can't be home with their families. It's a hard thing to bear and I am humbled by their unselfish service, both now and those who have gone before us.
This is my ABSOLUTE fav Christmas-time song and more so because Sarah McLachlan sings it! I can listen to her Wintersong CD all year long....
I think of my Matthew every time I hear it...thanks for the post!
Hang in there with me and we'll get through these darn pregnancy hormones. PS I was just diagnosed with gestatinoal diabetes- what the heck, no candy at Christmas!!! Plus pricking my finger 2-3 times a day... I love ya and hope you feel better and that your loved ones are comforted this Christmas Season.
Thanks, Summer! How can your 90-pound body be diabetic? pobrecita! I have been on a low glycemic diet (well, suppposed to be) since my thyroid surgery, so let me recommend dark chocolate with nuts for your candy treats this Christmas. If you have to have a treat, those dont' raise your sugar so fast ;) I am feeling pretty good--I don't mean to whine here because it's so much better than the first 3, if only because I dont' have a toddler! Thanks for the encouragement and you keep me posted on where you guys are doing and how your pregnancy goes!!! Love ya!
I check back after a little while, and read "pregnancy related," Whaaaaaaa!!!?????
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!
CM.
Thanks! wait...who are you, CM???
:-)
Ok I'll quit being lazy and log in!
Oh, YAY! It's YOU! You're still out there. I miss you and wonder what your two "Things" are looking like these days. I hope all is well! Yeah, so...SURPRISE, eh? This should be fun.
Jamie!
I have been out of the blog world due to a few military moves. But I just recently started coming back to your blog. And I have to say every time I read it, it reminds me of our little family over here. I always find myself in the same walk of life as you. I love reading your blog.
And to comment on emotions of this song..........
1.I'm prego
2. Military wife who is so grateful her husband is home this Christmas.
3. A complete sucker for anything Sarah McLachlan....
So as you can guess, my kleenex came in handy.
This song is so calming. I love it. Thank you for introducing it to me! I had never heard it before!
Congrats on your surprise bun in the oven! I did not discover I was prego until 2 months along. :O)
PS If you want to view our blog email me your email address. We went private.
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