Such a MAN

I've been reading lots of other people's blogs, about everything from mommy life, to traveling, to politics and just plain good humor. My cousin's blog has made me want to write about some things--first of all, I wanted to write about each and every New Year's Eve that I can remember, but I'll do that later. Some of them were quite magical and of course, always rung in with a few smooches.

But the one I really want to write is to him and all single men lookin' for a permanent hook up. Now, I don't pretend to speak for all women, or even a lot of women. But I think if you're looking for a smart, independent (but not intimidatingly so), fairly attractive, hilarious, ambitious LDS girl--possibly a returned missionary, starting her career but ready to stop on a dime and have a kid, etc.--well, I got some tips for ya.

Well, just one tip, really. And that tip is BE A MAN. Yep, it's even in the Book of Mormon. In the past 10 years as I have watched myself and my friends (all who fit into the above category) be wooed and eventually wed, I noticed a common theme. When we would describe what would later become our future companions to each other, we always mentioned that certain something that made him different--"He's such a MAN!" It was the quality that set these men that we married apart from the ones we just couldn't.

It's hard to describe this quality, except to tell you this: every girl wants to be adored, pursued, chased, convinced, and absolutely certain that she is what you want. I know it's cute to play the field and hard-to-get for a while, but NONE OF US MARRIED GUYS THAT DID THAT. Each of our husbands met us and went into hot pursuit mode. Not once were we left wondering how they felt. The ball(s) were clearly in our court and that's the way (uh-huh-uh-huh) we like it (uh-huh uh-huh). Wait--get your mind out of the gutter--you know what I meant by that--I'm not talking about "balls" although that's what it takes to get the girl.

It's really hard in our generation because we've all been sent conflicting messages about our gender roles-- what's good and not good behavior, what's attractive and what's not. I mean, I was almost afraid to be a girl/girly (mostly because of the vulnerability that entailed) for most of my young adulthood. But I have found, as have most people born during the 'revolution' (1965-1980-ish), that traditional, even 'stereotypical' roles and behaviors bring the most happiness. I mean, I am grateful that we are treated equally on a legal, civil, and social level, but most of the time I want to be treated like a lady and I want to act like one. And I want my husband to be a man.

So cowboy up or crank it up a notch or what ever you have to growl to yourself to get that testosterone pumping. If she's worth it, lay it all out. If she's not, find the woman who is. Check off your list and keep moving until you find the woman who makes you want to pull out all the stops. And then pull out all the stops. It works, I promise.


Addendum: If you want to hear a really good story of relentless pursuit and winning the girl, talk to my brother Matt and his wife Amie. Matt went through unbelievable humiliations to win Amie over (example: he sent her flowers and went to spy on her getting them and she walked down the sidewalk, flowers in hand, kissing her then-boyfriend! And did Matt give up? NO!) Years later, they are happily married with one of the cutest, happiest babies ever to grace the earth. And they did it all for the glory of love.