Okay, so while we were talking about teenage bliss (which I will admit I got at least my fair share of---man, I knew a lot of nice boys), I have to tell you about this thing that happened a couple of months ago while I was painting trim in my new house. I was listening to our local am station (shout out to KPRK)--small stations rock cuz they can play what they want and it's always a weird mix. Anyway, so I am painting and they play, "Your Wildest Dreams" by the Moody Blues.
Now, I used to LOVE this song and the video, too. I distinctly remember watching it with Susan, being drunk on Jack in the Box Tacos and Coca-Cola, simultaneously bawling because my destiny was moving 100 miles away and also marveling at the cool modness of the video because we were having a serious late-60's fashion phase (watching Gidget and The Monkees every single stinking day not just for entertainment but for retro fashion ideas, too, from which we could style some original outfit for the Saturday Night Stake Dance).
Anyway, this song was one of THOSE songs for the boy we'll call A1 (my destiny-moving-away) and I because we were preoccupied with reuniting and staying together and stuff like that, since the cruel adult world had split us asunder and yadda, yadda, yadda. Other favorites in this genre were "Edge of Forever" by the Dream Academy and "Wouldn't It Be Nice?" by the Beach Boys. One time when I was visiting him in Tempe, we were laying in the grass (I mean LAYING--on our backs, watching stars, top of my head to the top of his) and he told me this long, detailed story of how we were going to go on our merry way, but that we would always meet again--like he'd just turn up in one of my college classes or I'd see him in 10 years at a big party or dance with mutual friends and from across a crowded room, our 10th grade passion would be reignited with a glance (...I know! Are you SICK yet? We were like this all the time--too much Shakespeare combined with John Hughes films). We seriously used to wonder what it would be like when we were 40 (--elderly). I wondered if it would be like the Moody Blues video.
Of course we are out of touch, both happily married with families and jobs and lives and there will be no reunion or sparks or Moody Blues videos. But I hadn't heard that song in probably 10 or 15 years, so when I did, the memories just dumped.
The line, "Once beneath the stars/ the universe was ours/ Love was all we knew/ and all I knew was you" really stood out to me as I stood there painting in summer 2005. There I was in a moment I had imagined at 15, flashing back vivdly to the precise moment when I had been looking ahead. I knew I would remember that night on the grass looking at the stars, completely and totally in innocent love for the very first--but surely not the last-- time, trying to convince ourselves it was forever. Well, the memory is. The love is. The relationship was not, but it did its job, served its purpose, and man, I was lucky.
4 comments:
Wasn't he the tall blond one? He was cute.
Man, the words to that song are just going through my head and I can imagine what it must feel like to not have heard that for years and then all of a sudden its on the radio!
Just to add to that, one crappy day my junior year Andrew and I were attempting a break up, one that didn't last more then the weekend. We were awesome at writing notes to each other so I use to get like 3 a day. One of the notes he had written me that day had the words to "what might have been" and I just balled like a baby. I gave him back the neclace he bought me for christmas and taped it to the inside of his locker. I guess even back then we knew it wasn't going to last and we might as well end it. Unfortunately we couldn't stay away from each other. By monday we were over the idea of calling it quits. I hear "what might have been" now and I want to puke! Why do songs have to have such an affect on us?!
oh man, I'm going to have that song in my head all day. LOVE that song!
One other song I forgot--"With or Without You" by U2--hello!?! We were super-together when Joshua Tree came out and shortly thereafter he found out he had to move away, so, you know, perfect! Right after he left, I had fallen asleep at Susie's with the MTV on and "With or Without You" came on and I actually threw up because it made me so upset, and then it was years before I could stand to hear it. It still makes me woozy! I'm certifiable.
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