My Fit

So I had a fit this morning. First, I was mad because I woke up feeling sicker...fierce sinus headache AND nausea from said pain. Addie was already running late for school and I did NOT have time for this crap. So I ignored myself and got her ready for school, and got James & Heidi fed and dressed. By the time I finished that, my body threw a little tantrum, trying to get attention like always, and I threw up my breakfast toast and juice and medicine (illustrations by nataliedee.com).


This little tantrum threw out my back, and I called Rich to come from the office and fix me real quick. He came home, got the kids a snack and turned on Diego for them, then came in our room and put some heat and massage on my back. While he was doing that, the frickin' Billings Clinic called with my lab results from Monday (backtrack: On Monday I finally saw the endocrinologist, an appointment made in November; he checked out all the Graves' disease symptoms, treatments, progress, complications, etc. , and recommended that I have my thyroid removed- thyroidectomy-- in the next month or two because RAI could aggravate the eye situation, which is awesome lately--the steroid infusions totally took down the inflamation and my eyes look normal-ish). Here's how the lab results call went (prettymuch):

cliniclady: I have your lab results from Monday. First of all your T3 was blahblah, your T4 was blahblah and TSH was at 2, which are all in the normal range, so the methimazole is working great and you are still good to go for the surgery.
me: oh, good.
cliniclady: And your blahblah glucose test blahblahblah random blah blah 8, which is a little high. so we need to do some at-home blood sugar montoring and talk to your nutritionist...wait...are you diabetic?
me: No. I mean, I don't know...you tell me, you're the endocrinologist.
cliniclady: Oh, wait...you've been on a round of corticosteroids? For...uhh...
me: I came in for Graves Disease, not diabetes. The steroids were to control the occular protrusion...
cliniclady: Okay, yeeeahhh...so the steroids raised your blood sugar a little and we need you to talk to a nutritionist and nurse educator to make sure all the side effects are managed and we get you back on track...we can make appointments for you here...
me: Well, I am in Livingston, so can we do this through my regular doctor and Park Clinic?
cliniclady: Oh, I bet we can...do you want to hold whileI talk to Judy [like I know who Judy is], or do you want us to call you back...?
me: Would you go ahead and talk to Judy and see if we can take care of all of that in Livingston or Bozeman and call me back? I'm kinda busy right now...
cliniclady: Yes. We'll figure out what you can do there and call you back.


Um, YEAH, you will. Don't call me and ask me if I am diabetic while I am in the middle of some other health crisis! Sheesh!

So Rich loosened up my back and went back to the office, and I re-took all my morning meds plus an Excedrin migraine. Then I was so frustrated about my health, I started crying. I got my coat and bundled up the kids and we just went for a brisk walk. At first I was just going to take them over to the playground, but I was so sad, we just kept walking. We cut across three big railroad tracks (which James LOVED--ususally I go up to the intersection and cross there, but I was just too mad to go three blocks down and three blocks back up--the kids were totally excited to explore the tracks), across a car lot, through the park along the bike path where all the gophers had closed up their holes for winter. It got colder and cloudier as we walked, so we stopped at the office to warm up. Rich had already left for Kiwanis Club meeting, so we went across the street to have some broccoli cheddar soup at Dairy Queen. It was delicious and warm (but we did not get Wheat Montana rolls as promised which is a bummer, but probably better for my health) and the kids were so cute and good.

It was kind of a fun date with the kids, and the walk had relieved my stress. I decided to (a) stop taking so much different advice about my health, (b) pray about it more, (c) exercise more, and (d) make my family doc and her nurse be in charge of coordinating all this stuff because it's turning into a part-time job and I just don't have time or brain power to manage all these appointments, routines, numbers, etc. that they're asking me to be responsible for. I can barely remember my own name, for Pete's sake!

Anyway, I don't know what's going on with the blood sugar thing, but one thing that's cool is that my body has been quite finicky since having that stomach virus over the weekend. For example, I didn't eat even ONE of the chocolates Rich gave me for Vday because they nauseated me when I looked at them. I haven't had a soda since I was sick either, again, because the thought nauseates me. Last night we had pasta pomodoro, but I just ate the tomato sauce and green beans because the pasta sounded gross. So it's kinda like when I was prego and my body would be super selective about what it was hungry for.

It makes me feel a little bit more confident about listening to my own body because even without a blood test, it was cutting its own carbs and sugars in response to high glucose. Or at least I like to think so. I hope the road ahead will be a little straighter than the winding path we've traveled the past three years. I'm SO FREAKING TIRED of having to worry about myself when there is so much else that needs to be done, and my kids are growing up so fast. I'm ready to do anything that will take my mind off my health and let me think about and do the things that matter most to me. Sickness totally bites.

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Also, adding insult to injury, is the fact that I am dealing with THE WORST haircut of my life. Well, it's actually a three-way tie, because my hairdresser has accidentally given me this haircut three times...the last time was two years ago, exactly, because I remember having to go to my Grandma Layton's funeral (may she rest in peace) with what I refer to as The Softball Mullet. And now I have it again, but hopefully I can get a Repair trim before I go to AZ again, lest everyone in AZ think I keep getting this haircut on purpose.