Something's been on my mind lately---it's a recurring question. Let me give you a little background.
About 11 years ago when I was serving as Relief Society President, the bishop called me into his office for a chat and a certain conversation I'd had with a woman in Relief Society came up. I told him she had come to me first about something which should have been discussed with him, because I don't have the ability or the authority to deal with it. Ability?--you may ask? Yes, the ability to be truly compassionate, I guess, because my first response to this young woman who was, in essence, confessing sins and telling me all about the aftermath was this:
"So what do you THINK was going to happen?" The bishop suggested I edit that part of my thoughts from then on. Good advice.
But that doesn't mean I don't still think it all the time. And it's not like I don't feel sorry for people who are suffering, even if it's because of their own choices.
Suffering stinks. But at the same time, you can't stop suffering until you make different choices, and at some point
some people need to be reminded of that.
I find myself wanting to grab people by the shoulders and say, "What did you think your life would be like when you married someone with no education, few skills, and little motivation? I mean, I'm all for love and everything, but if you're gonna do that, you better get comfy in your double wide--you can't complain about never having money or never being able to get ahead. It's what you signed up for." Or perhaps, "What results were you expecting from your kids when your poor choices have robbed them of a stable home life, unconditional love, and the presence of a father? Did you think you'd get some sort of a free pass and somehow, against all odds, your kids would just accept it?" And I don't say that with any judgment. Seriously. The only thing I have a problem with is people making choices and THEN complaining about the consequences. I don't care where or how you live as long as you accept the consequences.
I suppose my two greatest peeves are
hypocrisy and her close cousin,
lack of accountability.
On a related tangent, it becomes more clear to me each day that there really truly is only
one way have joy. Remember that straight gate and narrow path? They are real! We can take what ever path we choose and we may even convince ourselves that we are happy "off-roading". But I can guarantee that (a) people around us have suffered for our choices and (b) our happiness is fleeting. Of course one can always make a "course correction" through the atonement--that' s real, too--and it gets you right back to where you should have been all along. But I'm just sayin'--it's SO MUCH EASIER to just DO IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME. Make the right choices--from the small daily things like being honest, forgiving someone, praying, choosing kindness, to the bigger choices like getting an education, being married in the temple, providing for one's family, or living within one's means.
DISCLAIMER: I am NOT in any way inferring that I make the right choices all teh time (or even half the time). I am struggling every HOUR like most people. But I am also aware that there is a consequence--good or bad--affixed to each choice i make. I understand that most of the difficult things I encounter in my life are the direct result of my own poor choices (or occasionally, someone else's). I also understand that the most joyful, fulfilling wonderful parts of my life come to me by the grace of God and through His Son. Happiness comes to me and my family when we work
with Him.
It's a simple equation, really. And I guess I am just re-stating
THIS (click and read). So I testify that the things that Lehi chose to teach his children at the very end of his life are still true. We do indeed reap what we sow, and we can't be surprised when weeds continue to spring up from seeds we carelessly scattered years or even decades ago. We were created to ACT and not to be ACTED UPON; we are instructed sufficiently to know good from evil; and we can, if we just THINK before we ACT, foresee the consquences of our actions.
May they be joyful!!...
**end of rant, er, sermon?**
