First, a word about the weather: Yesterday, I was out and about at high noon and realized that the sun had already slanted to the south and was casting more of that gentle autumn light on things, even though autumn is still 20 days away. I LOVE it—the soft light (as Addie said last year, “It seems like afternoon all day” as the sun hangs low), the chill in the air, the golden grass and the sunflowers. These are all the early signs of my favorite season and I find it all so motivating. Soon we will cook and can apples and rakes leaves and sew Halloween costumes and eat soups and breads and hunker down for the holidays and the long winter, and I WILL SAVOR IT ALL!
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Yesterday, September 2nd, was the anniversary of my grandfather’s death. While I was sad thinking of the surrounding circumstances and loss of this time last year, mostly my feelings were positive. Mostly I was thinking, “We made it! Look what we’ve done in a year!” I woke up ready to make a memorial offering of my day and I think I did a pretty good job.
First of all, I sent my kids off to school and my husband to work and I played with my baby. I fed him, I snuggled him, I bathed him and lotioned him and sang him into his morning nap. I did a half hour of smooth flow yoga on BYUTV, and then started my business for the day. I filled out papers and made up treats for my kids’ teachers expressing gratitude for their hard work. I cleaned up the kitchen and took the baby to deliver treats and paper work to the schools before lunch began. My Addie was sick, so I brought her home and we shared a salad and Emergen-C drinks, trying to make and keep our bodies healthy. I took a rest with her and Niles. Rich came home early today and we moved the bedrooms around so Grandma Lyn will have a comfy place to stay when she comes to visit us. We cleaned and beautified. Then I made dinner and we invited friends over to share the bounty, then attended a baptism. The closing song was “I Know That My Redeemer Lives,” and as I folded my arms at the end of the song I thought, “This is the perfect ending of a perfect day. It’s the kind of day Grampy would want me to have. And know what? I DO know that my redeemer lives and THAT is why everything is okay.”
Last year on September 3rd, I woke up with a sadness hangover and felt totally justified staying in bed to cry and sleep. As I rolled over, a voice spoke to my heart and said, “Get up and do what needs to be done.” Grampy worked so hard to teach me to stop being self-absorbed, to think about something besides what I wanted to do or how I felt. He taught me to see the bigger picture of being about our Father’s business daily. I felt that the best way to remember him on that day (and every day) was to
get up and do what needs to be done.
And I have done a lot. In a somewhat prophetic move on my part, we chose as our family theme last school year ,”I Can Do Hard Things.” I had NO IDEA how hard the year would be, and how exquisitely joyful and beautiful, too. I did a lot of Hard Things. I stayed home with my family when I wanted with all my heart to travel to the funeral , because that’s what needed to be done. I endured another pregnancy and gave birth to a beautiful boy because that’s what needed to be done. I walked a zillion miles and cut out sugar and refined foods and made hundreds of meals and read voraciously and repented and forgave and hugged and snuggled and washed the clothes/dishes and made new friends and taught dozens of lessons and wrote hundreds of blogposts and letters and took the sacrament and meant it because that’s what needed to be done.
The veil is too thick yet, at least for me, to obey out of pure love for my Father. I wish this weren’t so, but it is. I am often selfish and natural, and I forget Him too often. But somehow it’s easier to try to follow Grampy’s counsel. With him, the veil seems thin, my memories of him are strong, and his example is fresh in my mind. I like to think- -I hope--that Grampy is kind of a bridge, and that someday my relationship with God will grow and mature to be like my relationship with my grandfather and my life will reflect it consistently.
Meanwhile, it’s time for me to get up and do what needs to be done this sunny Saturday. I’m thinking of my extended family today, especially my Gram. I hope yesterday was as peaceful for you! Thanks all of you for your examples and for carrying on so gracefully.
He's so happy, especially when he wakes up, and he's been sleeping about 8-8 with one feeding between 4-5am. It's SO NICE.
Here he is chatting with the ceiling fan and chewing his fingers, two of his favorite things. He is so excited in the afternoons when the big kids come home...I get boring by 4pm! We are really enjoying our time with him (even though he is growing up WAY TOO FAST!).
He's so happy, especially when he wakes up, and he's been sleeping about 8-8 with one feeding between 4-5am. It's SO NICE.
Here he is chatting with the ceiling fan and chewing his fingers, two of his favorite things. He is so excited in the afternoons when the big kids come home...I get boring by 4pm! We are really enjoying our time with him (even though he is growing up WAY TOO FAST!).
