SECOND: I am really enjoying the PBS series, This Emotional Life (even though the title's similarity to my very favorite radio show, This American Life, kinda bugs me). The first night was about anger, fear, depression and anxiety. Tonight was about relationships--family, community, friendship, love--and how love shapes our brain development.
They interviewed a family who has been doing cutting-edge therapy with their adopted son who has reactive attachment disorder (that's a whole other post). The dad said something so profound, and he said it so emotionally, I think it applies to all parents at some point. The host asked him how the disorder has affected them as parents, and the dad said, "This is not the dad I wanted to be. And that is the hard part--that I have to be somebody else. I have to be the dad who is best FOR HIM. That's a hard thing to give up--(long pause). But maybe that's what being a dad is." Isn't that beautiful? To be the best parents we can requires an insane amount of selflessness. But I have a sneaking suspicion that THAT is the whole idea. That is why it's part of the plan: if we do it right (setting aside who we wanted to be for who our children need us to be), it transforms us. It takes us up another level, that much closer to being Christlike and godly.
THIRD: another story I wanted to share. While we were in Utah (test-driving our new car, actually), I got a call from my Sisterfriend Debbie to let me know she and her family didn't go to Arizona as planned. I thought something terrible had happened, but it turned out to be a simple act of faith. You can read about it here on Jessica's (Deb's daughter) blog. This story will forever be an example to me to listen and obey, no matter who I may disappoint. If Heavenly Father loves me enough to warn me of impending danger--physical or emotional or totally unknown--I should love Him enough to listen. And if you're reading this and you don't believe God speaks to us thru the Holy Ghost, call it your gut or your intuition or whatever--but listen to it!
PS: On a total tangent, I just love me some Jessica. I want Addie & Heidi to take daughter lessons from her. Jess and her sister, Haylee, made the cutest headbands for my girls for Christmas (in addition to having fun little playdates with them during Christmas break--thanks for making my kids feel special, Jess--James is in love with you now). So please go have a look at Jessica's crafty little blog where she is selling her headbands and jewelry (Jess, post some of your bead work and rosette necklaces!). Even if you don't buy anything, let her know she's super talented and spread the word!
3 comments:
Sisterfriend Jamie,
Thank you for your love, support, and your faith. You are such a great example. Your kids are going to turn out GREAT because they have GREAT parents who love Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Bottom line - there is NOTHING more important than that. I love you!!!! Deb
Thank you so much for this post and sharing the comment that the father said on the PBS special. I watched the end of that show but I must have missed that part. That IS so beautiful and profound. I think we all develop preconceived ideas about the type of parents we'll be as we grow from child to adult. A lot of our ideas are probably prideful about what we don't want to be like because of what we see other parents doing- I'm sure I thought to myself "I'll never..." and that I fantasized how PERFECT my kids would be because I would do everything right. But parenting is much harder than it looks and every child is different and requires different things. It's reassuring to know that it's OK to not fit the naive plan for ourselves that we've made in the past and that Heavenly Father gives us experiences (and children) to teach us and help us progress.
You are so cute! Thank you so much!!! I LOVE your kids. Miss you guys!!!
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