(a) Addie's arm is broken. It's fractured at the top of her humerus, so close to her shoulder that they just gave her a sling and a big fat ace bandage-type thing to hold her arm to her chest. She's taking it well, except the part where I had to sign the rest of her Valentines because her right hand is tied up.
(b) Still no news on my biopsy, but I am healing up well and the topical treatment seem to help, so no worries. And James is getting better, sleeping through the night, and having only one breathing treatment.
(c) I am in Utah AGAIN--we left Bozeman at 1:30 pm and got here to Herriman at 9pm. Rich and the girls will drop off me and James at the airport tomorrow morning to catch a flight to Phoenix, where I will meet up with my Layton family and head over to Thatcher for Grandma's funeral on Friday. Rich has some fun things planned for the girls--they will hang out in Salt Lake City and pick me up and head back to Montana on Sunday. And then we are not going ANYWHERE!!!!! ;) Not for a while, any way!
So life is good. It has been a long hard two months (I keep singing that dang Counting Crows "Long December" song in my head). I am ready to stop the world and catch my breath for a while. Monday night after our own little Family Night, we went across the street to watch a movie with my SIL and her kids. I came home early with James. As I looked across the street at my little cozy house all covered in snow and smiled down at James in his carrier, my heart swelled a little bit. Life is really hard sometimes, whether you're struggling or someone you love is struggling. But it's really, really beautiful sometimes, too, like when you're walking through super-sparkly snow on a February night with a beautiful, happy baby you prayed really hard for, to a warm, comfy house you built with the man you love to house the family you cherish. Like the three little birds sang, "Every little thing's gonna be all right."
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Sunday, February 11, 2007
With A Shiver in My Bones
Whose woods these are I think I know. His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
-Robert Frost
***
***
I have been waiting to post until I can find some photos, but I give up. My Grandma Layton died last night, so instead of going to Cousin Bill's wedding in Mesa on March 3rd, I am going to Grandma's funeral in Thatcher next Friday. Rich and I have to postpone our sixth anniversary trip to the Billings Temple (we've done that for 5 years)---we will be apart on our anniversary for the first time. That stinks.
I am sad about losing my Grandma today. I've been okay all day until we sang "Nearer My God To Thee" in Sacrament Meeting. She has been sick for a long time and she has come up to say good bye to me twice, so I know she has been ready to go for a while (my grandpa died almost 29 years ago). But I had just decided (perhaps selfishly) last week that I would go see her while I was down in AZ for Bill's wedding because I would rather see her alive than go to her funeral. I had that exact discussion with my brother Sam on the phone last Sunday, and he agreed to come with me to Thatcher so I could see her and get a picture of James with her. Shucks. So James and I will go down for her funeral instead.
Adding to my blues (as if death and winter weren't enough to be blue about), James went to the doctor for his cough last week and he has bronchiolitis and has to have prednisone, azithromicin, albuterol nebulizer, and a humidifier. He hasn't been fussy at all, never had a fever, just a bad night time cough. He is sleeping better now--the breathing treatments really help (he has this pacifier thing with a little vent on it for his nebulizer--it's pretty cool and it works great, except he is wired and won't stop babbling after each treatment). I went to a dermatologist about a bunch of rashes I have. She diagnosed most of them as psoriasis, but had to take a chunk of skin for a biopsy from the cracks of my legs (yeah, I know--nice. I was just celebrating the fact that I wouldn't have anybody poking around down there again for a long time, but alas--) cuz there's some kind of skin cancer that looks like that. So I've got stitches AGAIN, which means no sanity-saving jet tubbing for a week. I should get the results at my follow up visit on Valentine's day (the day we drive down to Utah to catch my plane on Thursday). Also, Addie fell down at my Mom-in-law's house on Friday and hurt her arm. She is still not using her arm today, so it's off to the clinic tomorrow to get it checked. I think she dislocated or sprained her shoulder, but we'll see.
On the lighter side of things, a fellow blogger needs some help. She is trying to get comments from all 50 states. Click here to see if your state is listed; if not, leave a comment and what state you are from (you could leave a comment anyway--that always brightens a blogger's day).
And even brighter, I have joined the staff of Segullah Magazine as assistant features editor. Have a look at the magazine; it comes out three times a year in print and on line and is aimed at LDS women from all walks of life. Tell your friends and buy a copy if you can! I hope to be able to contribute some writing to the next issue as well as editing (if I can get my head out of these winter clouds for a while). I am really excited, mostly to be exercising my brain a little more and to be in the company of some really talented and entertaining mujeres.
***
I sometimes hold it half a sin
To put in words the grief I feel;
For words, like Nature, half reveal
And half conceal the Soul within.
But, for the unquiet heart and brain,
A use in measured language lies;
The sad mechanic exercise,
Like dull narcotics, numbing pain.
In words, like weeds, I’ll wrap me o’er,
Like coarsest clothes against the cold:
But that large grief which these enfold
Is given in outline and no more.
To put in words the grief I feel;
For words, like Nature, half reveal
And half conceal the Soul within.
But, for the unquiet heart and brain,
A use in measured language lies;
The sad mechanic exercise,
Like dull narcotics, numbing pain.
In words, like weeds, I’ll wrap me o’er,
Like coarsest clothes against the cold:
But that large grief which these enfold
Is given in outline and no more.
-Tennyson, In Memoriam (V)
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Weirdness
To get myself to write tonight, I am doing a meme-thingy from My Cuz Brent (whom my kids think is their uncle) and Becca. Brent did seven, Becca did 100--I am going with ten. I think.
Ten Weird Things About Me
1. I absolutely cannot get in bed without washing and moisturizing my feet. I have fallen asleep and actually woken up to go in the 'throom and wash my feet. It stems from this larger weirdness I have about dry skin (which I've had all my life) snagging or scraping against fabric. It's like nails on a chalkboard and I cannot tolerate it.
2. I have a hard time eating mixes--like mixed jelly bellies or chex mix. I usually eat the items in the mix separately, starting with my least favorite thing and saving my favorite for last (in the case of chex mix, for example, I eat the pretzels, then the breadsticks, then the bagel chips, then the corn/rice chex, and finally the wheat chex) (crazy, I know).
3. I cannot understand why using the postal service is so difficult for such a huge percentage of my acquaintances and family. I have gotten used to it, mind you, but I don't understand what is so hard about keeping a basket or drawer stocked with paper, envelopes, a pen, an address book, and stamps. For the love of all that's Holy, people...we have an exemplary postal system and I intend to share the joy of snail mail with my loved ones until it becomes cost-prohibitive, so help me Ben Franklin! (This makes ME weird because I'm the weirdo who still uses the snail mail--me, my grandma, and my friend Lisa Robbins Anderson)
4. When I was a little girl, there was almost nothing that brought me more joy than a clean sheet of white paper. Seriously--I would almost shake with happiness and anticipation of filling it up with something.
5. I can't stand to have my fingernails grow past my fingertips.
6. I am working really hard to stop judging smokers as less intelligent and people wearing heavy eyeliner as trampy. It's really hard and I don't want to be like that. Luckily, in my town I'll get lots of practice.
7. I am an ice connoisseur. I will go out of my way for soft ice because I like to eat it. Chalk it up to my Arizona upbringing. Which leads me to...
8. My beverages must be ice cold. Like bordering on slushy. The only hot drinks I like are cocoa and Postum, but still in very small quantities.
9. I have kept a journal since I was nine. It's pretty entertaining, and I keep vowing to go back into them and do more "on this date in history" entries, cuz hey, there's fodder.
10. I almost always have about five thoughts in my head at once. Sometimes people think I am forgetful or irresponsible, but it's because I have to work hard to shut my brain up and focus. This is also why I require a very clean and distraction-free work environment, and why I have to get my chores done before I can do something creative--if I don't, my brain will not shut up!!! I am sure that's an undiagnosed disorder.
Feel free to add to the list in the comments...:) And happy hump day.
Ten Weird Things About Me
1. I absolutely cannot get in bed without washing and moisturizing my feet. I have fallen asleep and actually woken up to go in the 'throom and wash my feet. It stems from this larger weirdness I have about dry skin (which I've had all my life) snagging or scraping against fabric. It's like nails on a chalkboard and I cannot tolerate it.
2. I have a hard time eating mixes--like mixed jelly bellies or chex mix. I usually eat the items in the mix separately, starting with my least favorite thing and saving my favorite for last (in the case of chex mix, for example, I eat the pretzels, then the breadsticks, then the bagel chips, then the corn/rice chex, and finally the wheat chex) (crazy, I know).
3. I cannot understand why using the postal service is so difficult for such a huge percentage of my acquaintances and family. I have gotten used to it, mind you, but I don't understand what is so hard about keeping a basket or drawer stocked with paper, envelopes, a pen, an address book, and stamps. For the love of all that's Holy, people...we have an exemplary postal system and I intend to share the joy of snail mail with my loved ones until it becomes cost-prohibitive, so help me Ben Franklin! (This makes ME weird because I'm the weirdo who still uses the snail mail--me, my grandma, and my friend Lisa Robbins Anderson)
4. When I was a little girl, there was almost nothing that brought me more joy than a clean sheet of white paper. Seriously--I would almost shake with happiness and anticipation of filling it up with something.
5. I can't stand to have my fingernails grow past my fingertips.
6. I am working really hard to stop judging smokers as less intelligent and people wearing heavy eyeliner as trampy. It's really hard and I don't want to be like that. Luckily, in my town I'll get lots of practice.
7. I am an ice connoisseur. I will go out of my way for soft ice because I like to eat it. Chalk it up to my Arizona upbringing. Which leads me to...
8. My beverages must be ice cold. Like bordering on slushy. The only hot drinks I like are cocoa and Postum, but still in very small quantities.
9. I have kept a journal since I was nine. It's pretty entertaining, and I keep vowing to go back into them and do more "on this date in history" entries, cuz hey, there's fodder.
10. I almost always have about five thoughts in my head at once. Sometimes people think I am forgetful or irresponsible, but it's because I have to work hard to shut my brain up and focus. This is also why I require a very clean and distraction-free work environment, and why I have to get my chores done before I can do something creative--if I don't, my brain will not shut up!!! I am sure that's an undiagnosed disorder.
Feel free to add to the list in the comments...:) And happy hump day.
Monday, February 05, 2007
Beautiful Dawn
Take me to the breaking of a beautiful dawn
Take me to the place where we came from
Take me to the end so I can see the start
There's only one way to mend a broken heart
Take me to the place where I don't feel so small
Take where I don't need to stand so tall
Take me to the edge so I can fall apart
There's only one way to mend a broken heart
Take me where love isn't up for sale
Take me where our hearts are not so frail
Take me where the fire still owns its spark
There's only one way to mend a broken heart
Teach me how to see when I close my eyes
Teach me to forgive and to apologize
Show me how to love in the darkest dark
There's only one way to mend a broken heart
Take me where the angels are close on hand
Take me where the ocean meets the sky and the land
Show me to the wisdom of the evening star
There's only one way to mend a broken heart
Take me to the place where I feel no shame
Take me where courage doesn't need a name
Learning how to cry is the hardest part
There's only one way to mend a broken heart
-The Wailin' Jennys (watch the video below)
Rainy Days and Mondays
I was feeling a bit out-of-sorts and very head-achey today (don't worry--I'm chalking it up to a hormonal shift because I am finished nursing James, *sniff, sniff*), when we got TWO packages in the mail to cheer us up! One was from Nana--Heidi's baby elephant (which I had to listen to her cry about for a whole week after we left it in Utah) and a box pf goodies and a sweet blanket for James from my friend Jessica in North Carolina. Here's a picture of Heidi and Addie using the stamps and eating the Laffy Taffy that Jessica sent. Happy Monday! Thanks, Nana & Jess!
On another note, here is a really beautiful song which I would like to dedicate to all of my sisters, and especially my sisters-in-law, Amie & Audrey. I love you all. And Georgia, you once said you thought you'd love any band called the Wailin' Jennys...well, here they are....
On another note, here is a really beautiful song which I would like to dedicate to all of my sisters, and especially my sisters-in-law, Amie & Audrey. I love you all. And Georgia, you once said you thought you'd love any band called the Wailin' Jennys...well, here they are....Thursday, February 01, 2007
Poor James Ole...
We knew it would be hard to have two big sisters! James had to be Apple Dumplin' last night while the girls were playing dress ups at bedtime.
Addie is quite the poser, while James just looks worried...
...and Heidi looks crazy!
(trying to get everyone to look at the camera...)
Hooray! Daddy came to rescue James and restore his masculinity.
Addie is quite the poser, while James just looks worried...
...and Heidi looks crazy!
(trying to get everyone to look at the camera...)
Hooray! Daddy came to rescue James and restore his masculinity.Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Overheard
Sunday after lunch:
Rich: It's time for everyone to take a rest...do you want me to snuggle with you on my bed?
Addie: (whining) No Dad. I don't want to snuggle with anyone...and CERTAINLY not mommy.
(should I be hurt? I like to snuggle by myself, too...)
Rich: It's time for everyone to take a rest...do you want me to snuggle with you on my bed?
Addie: (whining) No Dad. I don't want to snuggle with anyone...and CERTAINLY not mommy.
(should I be hurt? I like to snuggle by myself, too...)
Monday, January 29, 2007
While I Was Gone
The freezing weather made for a huge build up of ice floes on the bend in the river at the ranch.
See the car there on the right? It's parked on the road, and the ice is all teh way up the river bank to the road!
See the car there on the right? It's parked on the road, and the ice is all teh way up the river bank to the road! At Long Last
We finally (and thankfully) made it home to Montana. Miraculously, we had clear, dry roads the whole way both to and from Utah! But that doesn't mean it wasn't FREEZING! Last Saturday (right after I wrote my last entry) Heidi and James got really sick (James was throwing up, Heidi had a fever and barking cough). I was trying to spend some time with Matt before he left the next day, but I kept having to cleanup barf! So we nursed them back to health on Sunday and delayed our trip home by a day. I spent Monday night at my Dad's in Pocatello (which was such a nice visit--thanks Dad & Becky!) and got home to Livingston at 2pm. I stayed home all week and battled a cold, scrapbooking and doing laundry and playing with my kids. It's so fun to cozy-up in the winter!
Here are photos from the past week--James loves the hot tub! He hasn't been feeling well--I think he's teething--and the tub makes him feel better.
James in the tub...
Happy boy in seventh heaven!
Saturday night we had Angie and Danny and Rosalie over (Davy's working nights). We ate Taco Salad, watched "Ant Bully," and Heidi and Rosalie played with Princess Mega Blocks.
Heidi is so proud of her castle! Rosalie is eating the dragon.
Heidi and Rosalie take Cinderella for a ride while Addie brings the Little People Farmer over to take care of the stables.
Here are photos from the past week--James loves the hot tub! He hasn't been feeling well--I think he's teething--and the tub makes him feel better.
James in the tub...
Happy boy in seventh heaven!
Saturday night we had Angie and Danny and Rosalie over (Davy's working nights). We ate Taco Salad, watched "Ant Bully," and Heidi and Rosalie played with Princess Mega Blocks.
Heidi is so proud of her castle! Rosalie is eating the dragon.
Heidi and Rosalie take Cinderella for a ride while Addie brings the Little People Farmer over to take care of the stables. Before I Left
We were still having quite the cold snap before I left for Utah. On Saturday, January 13, I made this big pot of chili for my family. I took some to Utah and left some for Rich. It was so good, especially with Marie Calender's "just add water" cornbread.
Ricky Lauren's Cookhouse Chili
James in his seat, enjoying the ruckus from the counter
Heidi and Addie help clean the kitchen floor
"When we're helping we're happy and we sing as we go, for we like to help mother, for we all love her so!"
Ricky Lauren's Cookhouse Chili
James in his seat, enjoying the ruckus from the counter
Heidi and Addie help clean the kitchen floor
"When we're helping we're happy and we sing as we go, for we like to help mother, for we all love her so!" Or something like that.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Stayin' Alive
"Well, you can tell by the way I use my blog..." that I am knee deep in the remains of the catastrophes here, and I've been a babysittin' fool this week! I am still in Utah, right now at my brother, Will's house, enjoying the last few hours with my brother, Matt, before he heads back to Iraq for 8 months. I have been here all week with Will's wife while he was on a business trip--they have had some issues this month, not the least of which is a very uncomfortable, fussy newborn baby (who is as cute as a wee button).
Some of the days this week were spent at my sister Jill's--she had a hysterectomy Thursday to resolve some terrible pain she has suffered for the past 13 years. Audrey and I just saw her in the hopital and she is doing great. She comes home tomorrow.
My mom is here from Missouri for 6 weeks, so I am going to leave all these folks in her capable hands and head home on Monday. I think I will stay over at my Dad's in Pocatello, then drive home to Livingston on Tuesday. It will be so great to be home with my sweetie pie and the spic-n-span house he's been spring cleaning (a little early, but so welcome!)
I have had a great time with my siblings, but they all have a long way to go to fix their problems. I love them to pieces and I hope they--and I!--make it through all the heartache, back into the light!
Some of the days this week were spent at my sister Jill's--she had a hysterectomy Thursday to resolve some terrible pain she has suffered for the past 13 years. Audrey and I just saw her in the hopital and she is doing great. She comes home tomorrow.
My mom is here from Missouri for 6 weeks, so I am going to leave all these folks in her capable hands and head home on Monday. I think I will stay over at my Dad's in Pocatello, then drive home to Livingston on Tuesday. It will be so great to be home with my sweetie pie and the spic-n-span house he's been spring cleaning (a little early, but so welcome!)
I have had a great time with my siblings, but they all have a long way to go to fix their problems. I love them to pieces and I hope they--and I!--make it through all the heartache, back into the light!
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