A Birthday Love Song for My Rich

Look What I Found

Find out what this song meant to me here. And now watch the video:

Senses Working Overtime

(if you're dying to hear the ol' XTC song, click here)

I have been thinking about this post for a long time, since I cleaned out my bathroom products and used up the last of my Bath & Body Works Apothecary Lavender-Vanilla bubble bath, which sent me right down memory lane. I, like most people, have strong scent memories. I heard on TV that this is an anatomical fact because the olfactory centers of the brain have no filters--what we smell is not processed, so it goes into our brains and creates a vivid memory right away. That's really cool, and very animal-like, no?

Some of the most surprisingly vivid and tender memories I have are from when I brought each of my three babies home from the hospital. Each time I was pregnant, as delivery grew nigh, I bought (or was given) a new set of scented soaps and lotions to help me feel pretty before and after delivering the baby.

So here is a list of some of my strongest scent memories:

• B&B Cucumber Melon Body Wash: Newborn Addie, courtesy of myself.
• B&B Apothecary Lavender-Vanilla: Newborn Heidi, courtesy of one of my dear YW, Lauren.
• Victoria's Secret Love Spell Body Spray & Scrub: Newborn James, courtesy of my mom.
• bleach/ chlorine water: mmmm, reminds me of pool water, and on a winter's day when I am sanitizing the linens of my cold-ridden family, the smell of the bleach water in the washer can send me right to a sunny, 105-degree day, playing in the pool in Arizona.
• orange peels, orange blossoms: takes me right to Arizona, too...warm sweet-smelling breezes...yum!
• Creosote, Mesquite=MONSOON RAIN in southern AZ. I'm tellin' you people, if they could bottle that smell...(if you've been in Tucson in August, you know what I am talking about!)
• fresh berries and dill also smell so good and fresh to me, and combined with lemon, can brighten and freshen any dish (berries for sweet, dill for savory, of course)
• Ralph Lauren's Safari for Men: when this scent came out, I loved it and I put the scent cards everywhere, even though I never knew a guy who wore it. I suppose it was the smell of the fantasy man of my early 20's.
• Ciara: The Scent of Grandma Lyn...I can smell it on my kids hours after she has hugged them!
• Dove Soap: Grandma Muriel...soft pink soap in her tiny pink-tiled bathroom.

Also, I had some thoughts about sounds the other night. It was a warm night and we had a fan on. The kids were in bed and the dishwasher was humming. I thought to myself that, aside from the sound of silence, the sound of the dishwasher might be my favorite. It's the sound of my woman's work being done at the end of the day. Ahhhh! I also like to drift off to sleep to the sound of the vacuum, the TV, and/or a fan going...I am a huge fan of white noise. Of course I love to hear my kids giggling, especially when they are making each other laugh.

And sometimes I worry that James will have some primal respose to the Scrubs theme...I am afraid he will suddenly get really hungry or want to suck on something, since I watched a tivo'ed Scrubs episode almost everytime I had to nurse him when he was a tiny baby. His first words will probably be, "I can't do this all on my own, no, I know I''m no Superman."

We'll talk about sight, taste, and touch another day. What are some of YOUR favorite scents & sounds?

All I Ever Knew...

Let me preface this post by acknowledging my dear friends who wish to be Mothers and are not, and/or who have lost their mothers and grandmothers. I always think about you on Mother's Day and remember the little squeeze my heart would feel each Mothers Day in my 20's when I thought I might never be a mother. Thank you for your influence in my life and for blessing my kids' lives, too.

Mothers, Grandmothers, Sisters, Aunts, Girlfriends, Stepmothers...enjoy.

Happy Mother's Day

(I know--JCPenney? Really? But it's such a great commercial, and this version of the song is so beautiful when you imagine it's about mothers!)

PS: Read THIS (click).

Couch Potatoes

We recently purchased a dirt cheap set of DVDs featuring old skool cartoons like Popeye and Betty Boop. Our girls are instantly sucked into the 1930's tracter beam, which is perfect for when I need computer time or time to cook dinner...
I like this photo just to compare their profiles....look at Addie's cute little Melin lip and Heidi's playdoh nose! Cutie pies.

I also took in a little TV this week--a lot, actually, with The Mormon Show on PBS, plus American Idol and Must-See on Thursday. And here is what I have to say about that:

1. BLAKEIFY: To make something lame (like a mushy country song or an 80's hairband hit) into something hip-hoppity-jazz-cool with some beat boxin' mixed in, 311 style. Okay, I LOVED Blake Lewis' version of Bon Jovi's "You Give Love a Bad Name" so much, I have probably watched it 10 times. It sounded very 311 (I saw 311 back in 1997 and the lead singer was way cuter than he is in this video...I loved thier muzak, but they were way too drug-culture for me) to me and I find Blake thoroughly entertaining and original (at least by American Idol standards). Look:

2. Scrubs (click here) just about broke my heart. You probably know from reading this blog that I feel a kinship to the cast of Scrubs as if we had all grown up together. Seriously. Something about the show (maybe that the writers are all the same age as me?) just hits my young adulthood nail right on the head. So this past epoisode when Eliot gets engaged and JD is trying super hard to get with her friend, and then he asks himself why he's trying so hard, then answers his own question with the heartwrenching "It should have been me"-- UGH! I felt that! I know I have felt that and I know I made someone else feel that when I got hitched (I 've got it in writing). I wish I could fast forward and see what's going to happen, cuz JD still has that baby out there somewhere with that lyin' urologist from last season...

WHAT!?! Did you just tell me to get a life? Okay, okay...I have one, but I was taking a break this week to get over my chest cold! Gimme a break...I have to stop thinking deep thoughts SOMETIME!

Heh-heh.

PS: Happy Saturday, y'all...git your BelBivDeVoe on.

"Hallelujah, Here I Am..."

Hm, I just sang that title in my head and realized it's the lyric to a song I haven't listened to in probably a decade (anybody remember Fairground Attraction? LOVED 'em!).
your smile is a prayer that prays for love

and your heart is a kite that wants to fly

oh, hallelujah, here I am

let's cut the strings tonight

Anyway, we have just returned from a fun 4-day weekend in Utah and I have been working all day to get the photos up. It's not working out, so I jsut wanted to post this HOWDY and let y'all know that we are well and happy and all that.

TONS-o-love-and-thanks to my sister JILL and her family for the fine accomodations and fabulous company. We had a ball at your house, sister, and it's SOOOOO good to have you back! Also, shout out to my friend Jenn, who came with us, and served as SuperNanny when the kids were wearing their moms down.

I also want to tell my sister, Sara, and her family CONGRATULATIONS on their new baby girl! I have a new niece named Kathlyn who was born on Friday night in Michigan. I am sure she is gorgeous because Sara and Rob make lovely children, and Kathlyn's two older brothers are as handsome as can be! I'll post pix ASAP.

Also, a dear sister-friend of mine is waiting by her Grandma's side today, waiting and watching and helping her pass from this life, and I want her to know that my thoughts have been with her all day. I try to put myself in your shoes, my friend, and my heart gets way too heavy. I have been humming comforting hymns as I work today, as if maybe you could hear them...no tender voice like thine can peace afford...leave to thy God to order and provide, in every change he faithful will remain...sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored...when change and tears are past, all safe and blessed we shall meet at last...O Thou who changest not, abide with me... I hope (I know) He will abide with you today and throughout the coming days. I love you.

Poor James has a chest cold and I hear him calling. So for now, I will refer you to some of my favorite posts from this past few weeks...like this one from cjane to her SIL with cancer, or this one by Becca about naming her daughter Daffodil. I would like to dedicate the Regina Spektor song (read it here) on cjane's post to MY sisters and sisters-in-law. I love you chicas! I'll be back later, probably after I get my little sickies (who had WAY too much fun with their cousins this weekend) settled down and fed and snuggled and off to bed and after I make a nice fresh bed for Sam and Kristen to sleep in tomorrow night! Lovies....

Oh, and PS: THIS blog has been most inspiring to my creative side lately. What? You didn't know I had one? Well, I do--it's very unskilled, but gets an A for effort, and Miss Kelly (the owner of said blog) makes me try harder everyday.

Feliz Cumpleanos, Amiga.

Happy Sabbath to all of you... ...and a very Happy Birthday to my

Crafty Friend, Jennifer!

Have a great day, Jen!

Also, thanks to Sam for calling us from the FM show last night. Your message was garbled but we could tell what it was! FUN! Instead of Darby O'Gill (which we will watch tonight), after dinner last night, my cute Father-in-law treated us all to Shamrock shakes and we all drove together in the the van down to the ranch and took one to Grandma Vivian. We also got to see the new shower that he and Mike built in her bathroom (she used to have a big tub, which she can't use now; the shower is totally handicap-accessible and beautiful). It was a fun St. Paddy's and a really nice Sabbath day, too. I can't believe how beautiful the weather has been. It's never been this nice and warm and sunny (70 degrees!?!?!) in my 4 previous Montana springs. I'm hoping if I express my gratitude, it will continue (with a little rain, please) but not bring a hundred-degree summer with it. :) How was YOUR weekend?

A St. Paddy's Gift for YOU

Overkill

Men at Work were really popular when I was in sixth grade. My dance class did a dance to "Land Down Under," and we all loved "Who Can it Be Now." But my favorite Men at Work song was "Overkill." One night, it even made me cry.

That was the year I first noticed that I had a severe anxiety problem. The year I developed an ulcer. The year I started keeping a notebook on the nightstand to try to quiet the thoughts that raced and kept me awake at night (those of you who know me as a "list person" now know where that stems from--making a list is sometimes the only way to quiet my brain and get some sleep). It made for some award-winning poetry, but it also made for a painful adolescence (don't get me wrong--my social life in junior high and high school was almost idyllic, in a John Hughes sort of way--just the right mix of heart and humor and silliness and melodrama--it's just that there was a lot of worry, a bunch of rattly old skeletons in the closet needing attention).

So anyway, when I finally listened closely to the lyrics of "Overkill" one night (undoubtedly on KRQ), I felt what the singer felt and it became somewhat of an anthem for me. And you can imagine the joy (and twinge of pain) I felt when Colin Hay appeared on an episode of Scrubs singing said song. It was an episode about being totally overwhelmed as an intern, and I thought it was perfect. Here, you watch it see if you feel the same way:




So I was just thinking about all this stuff, and I want to articulate it better later, but I was just thinking about how everyone has their own "stuff"--their own anxieties, weaknesses, mental illnesses, addictions--even the people who always seem like they have it together. And how crazy is it that we (whose problems are obvious) always look at them (whose problems are hidden) and think it would be nice to trade loads.

I have noticed a subtle shift in my thinking over the past year (again, something I will elaborate on later), in that I have recognized that (a) everybody's got a row to hoe, so to speak, a load to bear, a trial to endure, whatever; and (b) MY load is tailor made for me. I mean, it's hard sometimes and all that, but I have learned from trying to fulfill my baptismal covenants, by trying to bear one anothers' burdens. I have learned that my load is just right. A seemingly lighter load wouldn't make me "perfect, even as [my] Father in Heaven is perfect," and a heavier one would crush me. So in many ways I have been able to put my blinders on and deal with what's on my plate, and do it a little more graciously. And at the same time, I have been able to reach outside myself a little more because I have finally recognized that all of us, even the ones who seem like they don't, need to share our load once in a while.

I can't get to sleep

I think about the implications

Of diving in too deep

And possibly the complications

Especially at night

I worry over situations

I know I'll be alright

Perhaps it's just imagination

Day after day it reappears

Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear

Ghosts appear and fade away

PS: I Adore Addie

On Saturday, I had to trim Addie's bangs because she cut a small chunk of "hair that was bothering" her and I got upset with her.

Later she was upset about something and she muttered under her breath, "I'm just stupid and ugly." I told her we don't talk like that, and she said, "But I said it to myself, not to Heidi, and I can say whatever I want to myself." I said, "No, you can't even be mean to yourself, because Heavenly Father made you and when you say bad things about yourself it hurts his feelings. He thinks you're beautiful. And I helped to make you, so it hurts my feelings, too."

I thought about that all night and how much my self-talk must hurt Heavenly Father's feelings. It was a great epiphany for March Forth.

Later that night (last night), Addie and I went on a date (thanks, Granmda Rosalie, for filling in for the babysitter--you're the best) and we went to see Bridge to Terrabithia. We both cried and talked about it all the way home. Addie really liked it, and today she told me, "Using your imagination can help you to be nicer and have a good day, even be nice to bullies." Yep.

I also watched Marie Antoinette by myself Friday night. Fun and worthwhile, I thought. Two best things:
1. Kirsten Dunst always reminds me SO MUCH of Heidi Egan and I can't put my finger on why, but it's fun to watch her for that reason alone (especially in Bring It On, imagining Heidi as a competitive cheerleader...heh, heh).
2. Best moment of the movie (which has an 80's soundtrack): When the Cure's "Plainsong" just blasts after the wedding scene--exactly the right song for such a moment. LOVED it.

One Last Belated Valentine

This one is for Sam."You said that it would,

Now everything should

be all right."

Love, Maj

Beautiful Dawn

Take me to the breaking of a beautiful dawn

Take me to the place where we came from

Take me to the end so I can see the start

There's only one way to mend a broken heart



Take me to the place where I don't feel so small

Take where I don't need to stand so tall

Take me to the edge so I can fall apart

There's only one way to mend a broken heart



Take me where love isn't up for sale

Take me where our hearts are not so frail

Take me where the fire still owns its spark

There's only one way to mend a broken heart



Teach me how to see when I close my eyes

Teach me to forgive and to apologize

Show me how to love in the darkest dark

There's only one way to mend a broken heart



Take me where the angels are close on hand

Take me where the ocean meets the sky and the land

Show me to the wisdom of the evening star

There's only one way to mend a broken heart



Take me to the place where I feel no shame

Take me where courage doesn't need a name

Learning how to cry is the hardest part

There's only one way to mend a broken heart



-The Wailin' Jennys (watch the video below)

Rainy Days and Mondays

I was feeling a bit out-of-sorts and very head-achey today (don't worry--I'm chalking it up to a hormonal shift because I am finished nursing James, *sniff, sniff*), when we got TWO packages in the mail to cheer us up! One was from Nana--Heidi's baby elephant (which I had to listen to her cry about for a whole week after we left it in Utah) and a box pf goodies and a sweet blanket for James from my friend Jessica in North Carolina. Here's a picture of Heidi and Addie using the stamps and eating the Laffy Taffy that Jessica sent. Happy Monday! Thanks, Nana & Jess!On another note, here is a really beautiful song which I would like to dedicate to all of my sisters, and especially my sisters-in-law, Amie & Audrey. I love you all. And Georgia, you once said you thought you'd love any band called the Wailin' Jennys...well, here they are....

Because I Love You...

...I will share my favorite secular Christmas song of all time:

Fairytale of New York.

Seriously, the orchestrated chorus and the tin whistle never fail to make my heart skip a beat and my tummy flutters. Just beautiful. And funny.

Merry Christmas!

PS: Happy Birthday, Cousin Brent!

In your honor, just one more Christmas Pop Song, from a

Long Time Ago When We Was Fab.

How many pop stars can you name from 22 years ago in this video? CRAZY!

And it just occured to me how funny this song is, although the sentiment and purpose was kind--"Do they know it's Christmas time?" could be countered with, "Do they CARE it's Christmas time?" Um, probably not, but it's good to feed people, regardless of their culture or religion, right? ;)