Where's Your Focus

Once a few years ago, I wrote about receiving a letter from my dad who never writes and talked about how much it meant to me. It ended up offending my mom and some other people that I talked about my dad on my blog, when all I was doing was expressing MY feelings on MY blog. Since then I have tried to avoid anything that wasn't sunshiney- positive about the family.

Until yesterday. I took a risk expressing feelings that I have had pretty often throughout my life, which boil down to this: I wish I meant as much to other people as they mean to me. I accepted a long time ago that that wouldn't happen very often in my life, but once in a while I let it get to me and say something and people take it the wrong way. I got two comments from people yesterday who took my post personally when it wasn't personal at all. It was a general observation of an ongoing situation which was just exacerbated by the events of the day. Everyone can justify their actions and decisions--or else they wouldn't make them--but I just think so often we don't think of the ripple effect of repercussions or the impressions our immediate choices make over time.

I was thinking about a couple of people who had asked me to marry them before I met Rich. I was thinking about how, when I decided the answer was no, it was mostly because the person did not have a vision of love and service that extended beyond us or our future children. They didn't want to live life with an outward focus, to live life as a mission. They wanted it to be all about us and our little problems instead of looking around to see how we could serve our children, our extended family, our neighbors, our church family, and in turn, find all our little problems resolved. When I finally met Rich and heard the love and concern with which he spoke about his extended family and his good friends, I knew I had met the man for me. He has taken my vision and taught me to expand it because he is the most selfless person I know. While I do sometimes get bogged down in worrying about our own family, he reminds me that when we think about and do for others, the problems get solved. What goes around comes around. While it hurts that a lot of the people I love most just don't ever see the world that way (that's why I was sad yesterday), I have to remind myself what an amazing blessing it is to be married to someone who does.

Grumpy

My girls are giggling and the sun is blazing outside, sending the snow that fell early this morning down into the soil to feed the little bulbs that are sprouting all around the yard (I am so excited for daffodils and tulips and aliums--we didn't have many in AZ!). In all of this delightfulness, I am feeling a little grumpy.

It's probably because of disappointment. See, I always thought my family of origin would be the kind of family that was like the postal service-- "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays" this family from supporting each other in vital moments or celebrating the special days together. Then, of course, we all ended up in our husbands' hometowns--eight sisters in seven states, some too far flung for much visiting. There's a core group of us close enough to be there for each other if we can make the effort and sacrifice. But it still doesn't happen as much as it should. Sometimes, it's just not a priority or it's not worth it.

I am so glad I married someone with the same philosophy as mine-- for either side of the family, we often forego our comfort, plans, security, etc., to show our support for our sibs and to foster the relationship between the cousins. I really appreciate that about my husband and my in-laws. I am still trying to swallow the bitter pill that my family of origin isn't that great at it anymore. *sigh* Maybe it's a phase...maybe when the kids grow up...

I think I will take my rowdy girls outside to play since it's sunny and warm (well, a little above freezing, I think). They always cheer me up.

P.S.:

Happy Birthday, Cousin Candace! I know she'll probably never read that, but I was thinking it today, anyway... I miss her.

Postie Weekend, #2 of 3

Jake & Heidi watching "Little Einsteins"
They are stuck in the Little Einstein tractor beam!
Sam is a lovely baby.

We spent last weekend in Helena with Matt & Amie, and this weekend, they came here! They got here Friday afternoon and we just let the kids play and hung out until Rich got off work, when we went out for pizza and went swimming at Chico. I stayed dry and took care of baby Sam, who's only 10 days old! The kids got nice and tired swimming, so when we got home at 9pm, they were all sound asleep. We watched "Be Cool" and went to bed.

Saturday morning, we ate pancakes, sausage, and blueberries with apple-raspberry juice and the boys, along with my bro-in-law/mason-extraordinaire, Mike, got busy finishing the tile in our bathroom. They worked all day while we entertained the kids and watched the new "Pride and Prejudice" during nap time. At dinner time (Matt & Amie treated us all to Subway--yum!), the boys were almost finished tiling, but ended up about 3 tiles short--shucks! The tile store doesn't open until Monday and Mike can't come back until later in the week, so we are at a stand-still again. It looks really great, though, and we can work on trimming and decorating until he comes back to grout.

Later Saturday night, Matt & Amie worked on Sam's birth announcements, my in-laws brought their friends, The Egelands, over to see our new house, and we (Matt, Amie, Rich, & I) watched "Whale Rider." Matt & Amie had to leave this morning to go to their church at 1pm in Helena, and we went to our church at 10am. I led my first choir practice today and it was pretty good. I am a terrible choir director--not authoritative AT ALL, EVER, but we had lots of people there and it sounded pretty good. Next Sunday we will be in Helena again for Sam's blessing. Jill & her family, Dad Post, and Willy's family will be there, too, and Jill gets to stay for the whole week!! I am so excited! That's all the news for now. Have a happy Monday!

Our bathroom from our bedroom door Our bathroom from the family room door
Our bathroom looking out from the shower

Idol Thoughts

Just so I don't have to comment on every show, I wanted to air my American Idol opinions now. If I have to eat my words, I will.

I chose my Top 12 a long time ago, and things seem to be going my way. I'll tell you what, though, if that Melissa girl doesn't go away this week, I might have to stop watching! Okay, so here are my 6 girls and 6 boys, divided into top and bottom three (in no particular order).

Girls Top Three:
Katharine
Lisa
Paris

Girls Bottom Three:
Kellie
Ayla
Mandisa

Boys Top Three:
Taylor
Ace
Chris

Boys Bottom Three:
Elliott
Gideon
Bucky


So Kinnik, Melissa, Kevin, and Will should be voted off this week. And let me just say that I think all of the top 12 are really super talented, but I just think as far as being POP stars, it has to be one of the top three. I really don't know if #1 will be a girl or a guy--I guess it just depends in the consistency of the performances from now on. I am secretly hoping it will be Taylor Hicks, just to make Simon mad, but it will probably be Katharine, Chris or Ace.

PS: Bucky's hometown is a town where I spent NINE months--that's HALF--of my mission. Good ol' Rockin'ham NC!

End of totally pointless pop culture commentary. :)

I'm So Ashamed

I got this test from my "socialist" friend, Georgia. I shed a few tears when, on the "Famous People" chart, my target landed right on Kerry's forehead. Um, no.... although I like being told I have an excellent sense of right and wrong. Yep...me and my homeboy, John McCain.

You are a Social Moderate (50% permissive) and an... Economic Moderate (43% permissive) You are best described as a: Centrist Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

POSTer Boy

Our visit to Helena on Saturday to visit Amie & Matt's new Baby Sam... Addie kissing her cousin Sam.
Aunt Jamie, Cousin Addie & Baby Sam.
A close look from Aunt Jamie.

More Sam

The New Sam Post
Cute Brothers
You may be wondering where Heidi was during the baby-love-fest...she was having a Captain Furious episode due to the lack of a nap. Charming...

Teaser

Just a quick note to say we enjoyed a warm(er), sunny, windless day in Helena today visiting new baby Sam and his family. His maternal Grammy was there and made us a divine dinner of Cornbread-and-bacon-stuffed pork chops, sweet potatoes, rolls, and salad with brownies for dessert! I will be feeling that all night, but it was GREAT! Amie looks great and we had fun with all 4 Posties. I will post great pix tomorrow. We arrived home to the news that my very special and darling cousin, Maren, expects her first baby in August. I am so happy for her--it makes my pregnancy better and more fun to know there's a second cousin coming, too. More tomorrow--

It Feels Like Years Since it's Been Here

It's 4:48pm and I just noticed...it's still light outside. The equinox is coming and I am rejoicing in song:

Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun
And I say
It's alright
Little darling
It's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling
It feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun
And I say
It's alright
Little darling
The smiles returning to the faces
Little darling
It seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun
And I say
It's alright
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes!!!

[[Wanna hear a cool cover of this song? Click here, then press play]]