Freaky Friday

What a week! Another great Glee episode, a lame Idol finale (but I really like Lee Dewyze), a weak family night (daddy at a meeting), head and back aches and allergies, track meet, rain, a chat with "big Heidi", mama feeling a little better, gramp having his third(!!!) chemo, retirement dinner party for 2 teachers at the kids' school, Matt's 29th birthday, last day of preschool, a very clean family room (reorganized!), big summer plans, gearing up for cousins to visit all during June, endless laundry and dishes, and now gardening...

BUT--we are taking a break (even though it's going to be rainy and 40 degrees for the next 4 days) and heading to camp in West Yellowstone for 3 nights and spend Saturday in Jackson, Wyoming. We are heading out in an hour or two. I will post pictures from our campground's wifi when I get a chance. Wish you were here ! ;)

Happy Memorial Day, everyone. I've been so emotional lately, I almost cried when the sweet man from the VFW handed me a crepe paper poppy today at the grocery store. God bless our military men, past and present. And an extra measure of gratitude for my ancestors this weekend--I am the culmination of a lot of great teachings, sacrifices, genes, etc...I hope I can live up to it all!

All God's Children Need Travellin' Shoes

Sorry I haven't made a "real post" for a while, but no news is good news, be assured. Over the holidays I went looking for an old musical idol online and I found her in a big way. Tanita Tikaram was the soundtrack for much of my 1990-91. She now has a great blog, podcast, archives, etc. so I am glad she is back in my life in a way. Here are two of her songs from back in the day. The first one is probably her biggest "hit"--the first thing I heard from her on "120 Minutes" back in high school. Watching the video now makes me kind of nostalgic and homesick--I can almost feel the dry heat of that place (the Atacama?), it reminds me of the Navajo Res in NoAZ. The second is hands-down the Kevinest song of all the Kevin songs. Us to a tee. Enjoy--her voice is like buttah!






Johnny was a peculiar guy
Brought up on love and the reasons why
but the reasons why ought not to be said
and so I'm left hands held to my head saying
I love you
It's a beautiful,beautiful, beautiful thing
It's a beautiful, beautiful thing

Chances, changes are all that you have
As you take the hard stuff lie on your back
The smoothness, strangeness fits like a glove
But the comfort of tease still rises above saying
I love you.
But is it possible, possible, possible babe?
Is it possible for me and you?

Gold and waves and Betty Blue are the images that lead
to the clues of why
I can't love you
It isn't possible, possible, possible, babe,
It isn't possible for me and you.

If they don't dance then they're no friends of mine

I've had a pretty busy week and a back ache that makes sitting unbearable (standing and even kneeeling, digging in the garden don't bug, but sitting does--weird) so I haven't been at the computer much since Monday. I had an awesome root canal on Tuesday and put in a rockin' garden on Wednesday, and I'll post pix soon, but for today, let this beautiful bit of "GLEE" brighten up your TGIF. Go ahead--we can dance if we want to (and we totally did, btw--my kids and I have watched this about 20 times and we dance to it like crazy--so should you, even in your cubicle!)

By the By...

Stumbling upon THIS FABULOUS WEBSITE reminded me that... ...(A) I COLLECT POSTCARDS (hint, hint)

(B) I really love being a Latter-Day Saint. LOVE IT.

Recent Photos

Today we enjoyed a lovely Sabbath at church, a nice nap, and a fun birthday barbecue at the ranch with Uncle Mike for Christina's (his gf) birthday. Our Gray cousins came, too, but not Grandpa and Grandma because they were doing their high council duties in Big Timber today. We missed them, but it was a delicious day to be outside, worshipping thru our senses! In this photo, Mike and Angie are getting ready to serve cake & ice cream to the cousins, but it looks like Danny is holding them up like some gangster.

Tell me these mountains DON'T make you want to sing, "How Great Thou Art"--

I'll never get over this view.
A view of the festivities from the river
(you can see the pirate ship tree house we built last year there on the left, and the covered foundation where my inlaws will rebuild a house there center-right).


The kids can't wait to dig into Christina's birthday cake.

Make a wish, Christina!

Remember the root cellar we cleaned out last summer? Well, it now has power and this beautiful reinforcing stone wall (since the hill is eroding).

A view of the festivities from the foundation

Hannah's back, Heidi, and James eating hot dogs and lovin' ranch life

(We can't wait for the Florida and Texas Melins to join us in July!)
***

Last Tuesday I made the kids Serendipity Frozen Hot Chocolate for after school snack. They insist it be served in a fancy glass with a spoon AND a straw, so this is what they look like eating it.

"CHEERS!"

(notice the cute potted flowers I got for Mothers Day from Addie and Heidi, and tulips from my MIL--she grew them!)

Here's Addie on the front porch (sitting on last year's Mothers Day gifts, coincidentally), sipping her treat, looking for all the world like a middle-aged woman on a cruise...

what's even funnier...

...is that everyday now she gets out a goblet and makes herself a drink (usually crystal light or lemonade on the rocks). She saved that umbrella off some cupcakes a classmate brought to class and she uses it everyday. This makes me laugh, everyday (in my head, I ask her, "Tough day at the office?").
***

Last Saturday, we got to babysit Lydia and Suzy all day long and it was super fun. The kids took these pictures when they were swinging Suzy.

Silly Sooz & Silly Heidi
***

This next section is a photo essay called

"AROUND THE HOUSE on May 4th"

First of all, this is a great shot of my newest rug and my grubby son.

And also all the crap under my couch downstairs.

Next is a series of pictures of my kitchen. On this particular day, the kitchen was making me kind of crazy because everything was so cluttery. But then I thought I would take pix to show myself that THIS IS LIVING--we are LIVING in our house, and the mess is good.

I hate having a bunch of stuff on the window sill, but this is such a great place to start plants when it's still freezing at night. So there is an egg crate on the left sprouting cantaloupe and yellow squash, with a jade plant on top of it, and quinoa sprouting in a yogurt cup. There is another jade start in a tiny vase, and pots sprouting sunflowers, zinnias, cosmos, hollyhocks, and basil. So the mess if for a good cause.

This is my Mexican Pig. I love him. I bought him at a Mexican warehouse-type store in Tucson with my Grampy. To the left of Mr. Pig is the courting candle my inlaws brought back from Amish country and a jar of sand and stones from the beach at Lowestoft, England.

This is the little craft corner left over from putting together daily treats for teachers for Teacher Appreciation Week. There are also planners and calendars and reading schedules and homework all piled up there in a crazy-making mess.

The big picture.

My chaotic fridge doors.

My medicine cupboard, of which a nephew once said, "Holy crap, this looks like some hippy cupboard...just tell me where the frickin' advil is!"

And lastly, breakfast. Also known as "the ingredients for the most delicious yogurt you've ever tasted." The oranges stuff is a blend of mashed yams and mashed butternut squash, mixed with butter and honey and a dash of nutmeg and pecans and coconut, then briefly broiled (to reheat and toast the coconut of course). A few days after I served this for dinner, I figured we'd better finish it off, so I mixed the yam-squash into vanilla yogurt with some granola on top and James and I both thought it was FABULOUS-- Try it!

Meet The Tribe

I promised a few weeks ago to tell you about my “Other Family,” and today seemed like a good day to do it. Yesterday, I was attacked and beaten down by strep throat or some other evil virus, but today I have arisen victorious, against all odds (I credit the prayers of little Lydia, a preschool student, who was very distraught at my having to cancel preschool yesterday. Her mom tells me she prayed for “Sister Melin to get better” all day yesterday. I am glad her prayers were heard!). I am taking it easy, though, expending most my energy here at the keyboard rather than getting over-ambitious as I am wont to do after being sick. So here we go.

At some point in 1988, I met Rob Buchert, who was serving as a missionary in east Tucson (my hometown). My friend Paul’s dad was the ward mission leader and we had many friends with varying levels of interest in the gospel (“Is that was makes you guys so crazy and fun? I thought it was drugs…”), so we had lots of interaction with Elder Buchert and other missionaries. Paul and I stayed in touch with Rob (and Brian Jacobson, aka “Jake”) after his mission, and even got to meet his future wife, Georgia, while visiting Provo on Spring Break 1990. On said spring break, I made arrangements to move to Provo (I was “on a break” from college, having left Ricks college at winter break), registering for Spring term at BYU and UVSC, looking for a job, etc. Shortly after I moved, Georgia taught me how to earn my supper at the Krishna restaurant, introduced me to many good friends, and generally got me off on good footing in Provo. In August of that year, many loved ones gathered to celebrate the wedding of Rob and Georgia in the Salt Lake Temple. This is where I met Rob’s entire family, the nine-member band of creative genius tow-heads from Canada called the Buchert Tribe. They looked exactly like the poster for the movie, “Village of the Damned” (which we always called “Village of the Bucherts”). Many of Rob's siblings match up in age with mine, so it was easy to remember names and ages, and indeed, to adopt them as a second family.

[a Georgia collage, clockwise from top left: Geo's room 1990; Geo & Jake with a friend in SLC; classic Hackworth Geo last week; Georgia with Rob in the last two photos]

Rob’s next-younger sister, Regina (known as Jeanne, pronounced “Jen”) had decided to live in Provo and was in need of a roommate. Georgia pulled some strings and found a newly-renovated basement apartment in west Provo that was perfect for us, so in August 1990, Jeanne and I moved in with Mary and started our official Provo life. We went to school, we went dancing, had parties, filched flowers, watched lots of Twin Peaks and In Living Color, rode bikes, saw bands, got death threats from our landlady, fell in and out of love, fought with our psychotic neighbor/neighbor cats, and grew up ever-so-incrementally over the year we lived together. That summer I moved to Frankenhaus and Jeanne moved home, but the following fall, I needed a quiet place to live and Jeanne needed a roommate at One Sixty-Nine, so we were reunited.

[Jeanne collage: Heidi & Jeanne spring break 1992 at Utah Lake; Jamie & Jill-same time; Glamour Shots in the One Sixty-Nine kitchen, 1992; Me and Jeanne at the DC temple visitor center after Heidi's wedding, 1995; Jeanne studying in 1992; Jeanne proudly showing off The Dishes in Fall 1991 at One Sixty-Nine]

The 1991-92 school year was much more peaceful as Jeanne and I took school and church a little bit more seriously and settled in to reading, creating, planning our lives, and writing to our missionary brothers (Martin Buchert was in Germany—Frankfurt, right? and Willy Post was in Michigan Lansing, which coincidentally encompassed the U.P. stakes of which the rest of the Buchert Family were members). I worked as the soup-n-salad girl at the Smith’s Deli, then as an aid in Ms. Butler’s 5th grade at Maeser Elementary. I decided to go on a mission in February 1992, but wouldn’t be 21 until the following September. With my decision, however, I think the missionary spirit sort of settled over our apartment and things changed—improved—from then on. We made better friends and better choices. We invited the Spirit more and were kinder to one another and people around us. It was a very good season for us (well, I’ll speak for myself, but I think Jeanne would agree). In June, I went home to Tucson to prepare for my mission, but not before Jeanne and I hosted our little sisters on their spring breaks—Jeanne’s sister Heidi, who was 19 and in that silly Canadian grade 13, and my little sisters Dana (14) and Jill (12 ½). It was sad to say good bye to my “other family,” but I was excited to go get ready to serve. I got my mission call to the North Carolina Raleigh Mission (coincidentally encompassing Georgia’s hometown—her mama still lived there at the time in Kinston!) on July 18, 1992 and reported to the MTC on October 7th. I stopped and said good bye to Rob, Georgia, Jeanne and Heidi mere minutes before I went into the MTC and they were a fantastic support through the whole 19 months. Jeanne joined me in the field the next year, having been called to Brazil and re-routed to Texas for a time.

If you know the Bucherts, you know that they have marvelous minds. Each has some unique and brilliant talent, and most of them are gifted at the lost art of letter-writing, which happens to be one of my greatest hobbies—I love snail mail!—so this combination helped me to get to know Georgia, Jeanne, Mama Ellen, and Martin much better than I would have otherwise. When I returned to Provo after my mission, Heidi was well-established there and Martin was on his way out west, too. At the end of summer, I decided to move in with Heidi at Rupper Five, which would prove to be one of The Top Five Choices of My Life (up there with serving a mission and marrying Rich).

[Heidi collage: Heidi & Jeanne at a 1992 picnic; Me-n-Heidi at Rupper Five, 1994; Heidi & Erin, 1994; Heidi and her 'brella-a-a; in the center, there's me with my sisters at the DC temple for Heidi's Wedding in Dec. 1995; bottom right photos are Heidi with her children on Mothers Day 2008 near their home in New York; Heidi & Todd on their wedding day; me, Erin, and Heidi--The Young Ones, October 1994]

People talk about Zions Camp and School of the Prophets in the early church as times of preparation. I think of my time at Rupper Five just that way. Or you could say it was like going from the rehab of a mission to the sober living house of Rupper Five. It was a lovely transition back into real life—IN the world I used to inhabit, but not OF that world. Martin moved in with one of my dearest friends from home, Erin moved in with me and Heidi, and all was right in the world. Oh, sure, we kept dating idiots and eating bad food, but we belonged to a super- fun ward (BYU 66th!) , we had the House of Fun boys to entertain/ hometeach us, and Rob and Georgia right down the street. Of course none of us realized how sweet it was at the time, how blessed we were—until is was over, and each of moved on to make some of the most important choices of our lives. Heidi, Erin, and Martin were all married shortly after the magical year at Rupper Five. I FINALLY decided that I HAD to finish my BA, so I moved home to Tucson, buckled down, and gotter done over the next two years (and had some very choice experiences there, too). Luckily, these years brought the advent of email, and Georgia remained a great pen-pal (keyboard-pal?) and kept me up to date on Tribal Doin’s. The best thing that happened while I was in Tucson is that the whole Tribe—ma, pa, Johanna, Anneliese , and Chris—relocated to Provo! Lucky, lucky Provo! It was nice to be able to visit everyone together when I ventured north. There was a wonderful, short window when everyone was in town—wasn’t that fun? Grandbabies began to arrive, and it was so nice to feel like an auntie to them as well as my own nieces and nephews.

Martin & Becca with their children, 2009

I never had a Buchert roommate again after Heidi (although Johanna certainly would have made a good one—our college years overlapped a bit, I think), but we have stayed in close touch. Now that we have all scattered and are deeply engrossed in the work of family life, visits (and calls, and letters) are fewer and further between, but the Tribe’s influence remains a constant in my life. I suppose at this point, as I try to be the best mother I can be, Ellen’s (Mama Buchert’s) influence has become very important to me. I think about how I always feel totally loved and accepted in her presence, and also how I feel free. I watch her as she works or plays with her grandchildren (and my children) and I see so many ways I can improve if I want my child rearing to produce results that resemble hers. I see so much “joy in the journey” when I watch Ellen—so much more process over product—and I recognize that this is my weakness. I was born and have lived much of my life in an anxious rush to Be Productive--to “EARN” my place or the love I need. While I do recognize the value of Getting Things Done, there is a peace and a whole side of life one misses, the side of life that is not on anyone’s checklist or calendar, when one is busy Getting Things Done. Art and music and personal revelation and strong relationships and unconditional love have a hard time happening while you’re Getting Things Done. I’m just sayin’.

[Johanna collage: Johanna is a lovely mama--here she is with her children at home, home, and in Africa]

Some of Ana's beautiful creations--every Buchert makes beautiful things.

[Ana & Jacob in Hawaii]

[Lovely Amy and Baby Chris on their wedding day in 2008]

[Recent Photo of the Tribe, with only Heidi's Family missing]

I feel like the luckiest woman alive when I think about how I’ve been blessed with an intimate view of so many different ways of living and raising a family. Having been a part of my family of origin, then on the fringes of the Buchert Tribe, and now a Melin, I am reaping all the wonderful fruits from each of these families, blending them with who I have become and who I want to be, to produce what I hope will be a “hybrid family”—a family that enjoys blessings and broad perspective of all that Heavenly Father has placed in my path over my thirty-year journey to motherhood. I feel practically crushed with the emotion of thanksgiving when I look back at God’s hand in these relationships—all I did was kinda blindly follow what felt like good ideas at the time—and who knew that twenty years later, we’d still be together, thick as thieves, forever friends? Not me, but I am so thankful.

[Mama Ellen with Georgia, 2010, courtesy of Justin Hackworth photography]

Some Mothers

I've been reminiscing about my babies today, as I do every Mother's Day. I kept my tradition of tucking them in like I did when they were babies--they each have their own lullaby, so I sang each one (Addie's is "Adeline" to the tune of "Edelweiss," Heidi's is "Baby Mine," and James' is "Sweet Baby James") then I came and edited some old photos I scanned a while back. Here are some of my favorite photos from my motherhood: Addie and Me in 2002

My girls and me right after Heidi's birth in 2004

The girls welcoming James in 2006.

I am so thankful to be their mom!

***

Now, let's take a journey back in time...

Here I am practicing being married AND a mother in 1974--Willy and I were dressed up for Aunt Marti's wedding and the twins had just come home from the hospital--YAY! This is at Grandma Elreys' house-- I loved that orange lamp and I would PAY to have a copy of that awesome family photo of us behind the couch!

This is me on or around my first birthday in 1972. We are at Grandma Layton's house in Thatcher.

This is my mommy and me in 1971

This is my mom, super prego, 1971

This is my mom on her first day of college in 1969.

This is my mom when she was 14 at her grandmother's house.

That's my mom (far right) with her cousins around age 3.

That's my cute little Grandmother becoming a mother at age 20, holding my mother.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom & Gram!

A Spoonful of Truth

Each morning this week I have been (a) watching Steph's "My New Life" video (below) and then watching/taking notes on another conference talk (on DVR) to give myself the strength to do my day. I really can't tell you how much Stephanie's statement, "I am Stephanie Nielsen and I am not my body" has meant to me.

I have always struggled with the fact that my outside doesn't match my inside, at least in the way our world judges things--I am convinced that my inside is a slim, bobbed-brunette, bespectacled, 5-foot-3-inch librarian/nun. But my outside has always been a taller, curvacious, squishy, sunny blonde. Hard to match up.

Me with Addie, 2002

And since I finished nursing James in 2007 and all the hormones settled in and the Graves Disease began to rage, that curvy body got even curvier, my head has ached excruciatingly almost everyday requiring a prescription which I rarely take because it makes me sleep and I don't want to miss even an hour of a day with my kids. The arthritis in my back and the disease in my system make each morning hard to face--I wake with the first burning pains between 3 and 4am and I flip on my heating pad. I start to pray that they will go away and I can make something of my day. I have found that if I skip my afternoon siesta (usually from 1:30-2:30), I have to sacrifice my evening because I will be (figuratively) face-down in my dinner plate. Exhausted.

At first I felt free to rest up because I was trying to "get well." But then it became clear that there is no "getting well", that this is my new normal--MY New Life--but the people around me seemed impatient for me to be well again. So I started pretending that I feel good everyday because that's what others need to think--that I feel good, that I am fine, that all is well.

And all IS well, but just for the record, I don't feel good. Ever. Whether or not I get all my exercise and supplements and medication and sleep, I will probably never feel good again. But I feel good enough. And I feel even better when I do the things my Spirit and my body want me to do. Sometimes meeting both needs--Body & Spirit--is like caring for two whiny, demanding children whose needs are at odds. My Spirit still has lofty goals and aspirations and good ideas and a desire to serve and learn and write, 24/7. My body would like 2 Excedrin migraine caplets twice a day with a Coca -Cola chaser, then fresh organic food, a yoga session, a massage, and 13 hours of sleep everyday. As you can clearly suss, it's a battle each day to just balance them out and do my thing. But the happy news is I AM NOT MY BODY. I will be judged on the desires of my heart--or, in other words, all the things my Spirit longs to do and be. To me, that really is good news.

Lately

I finally uploaded what's on my camera...I haven't been very motivated since my grandparents' computer broke (if you have a laptop and you're near them, would you take it over so they can catch up on blogs? they still have wireless), but here's what we've been doin' the past few weeks:Here's my sweet boy on 4/18...I just thot is was appropriate that he was sitting there under the "Count Your Blessings" sign cuz he's my sunshine!
When I walked out my front door and turned to the right on 4/19, this is what I saw.
(tulips blooming!)

Our first bloom of the year, out front in the river rocks

These tulips were next to bloom

That was my week to host preschool and talk about spiders & insects, too.
Zane, James, Lydia and Ashley love to use the air popper for snack time!

On Saturday 4/24 there was a handbell choir regional conference in our town and that night, Heidi and I went on a date to their concert. It was amazing!

Look at all those bell-ringers! It sounded divine.

Heidi amused herself by drawing (as usual).

On Monday 4/26, I realized our Museum of the Rockies membership was about to expire, so I took James to spend one last day with the dinosaurs (we are not renewing until the new children's activity center is done).

Lovin' on the stegosaurus (yes, he insists on wearing his dino shirt to the museum).

On May Day Richard & I were doing a bit of deep cleaning, so after the kids cleaned their rooms, Addie organized a "cowboy safari" in the back yard for them, complete with outfits, stick horses, and binoculars.

I seriously dig these kids.